The Trials, Victories & Adventures of Los PaulOS

For Church Tech Crews Around The World This Is For Ya

2011-11-16T08:27:00.002+08:00

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=F1ECJJNU

Living with Psoriasis...

2011-01-25T14:05:00.003+08:00

O' Fine white dust
Where doth thou cometh from?
Each day to find you I must
The white dust from a scratching storm...

Yes.. each day living with Psoriasis means.. there's dust on the floor.

What is Psoriasis you may ask.. you can read it if you google or wiki it..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psoriasis

In short.. it's
a. Chronic
b. Genetic
c. Incurable (for now)
d. Unsightly
e. Not Infectious
f. Irritating
g. Depressing
h. skin grows at an alarming rate of every 3days.. hence the many different red & white patches on the skin.
i. known to lead to arthritis

Need I say more...

Each day, Psoriasis patients/sufferers/victims have to deal with stares and ugly looks from passersby.
To people who know you, think they have a cure for you even before understanding what Psoriasis is...

I've been living with Psoriasis for the past 8years. I unknowingly had it for 2 years. The skin doctor I saw for my corns suspected but didn't say much or didn't perform a biopsy for the skin back then. She asked if I was stressed.. I said.. No..
Sometimes you don't know if you're stressed.
About 6 years ago I was properly diagnosed and it was only localised on my legs.
In the 2 years, stress has increased because of a job situation that I did not ask for.. it's been a major fight .. it feels like I'm losing the battle.

Each day I go through a cycle of emotional ups and downs.. starting in the morning when I find, dust on the bed, dust on the floor, sometimes blood stains on the bedsheet and skin from involuntary scratching at night.
Then to the bathroom to apply soap, you feel every bump of skin that threatens to turn into a psoriasis lesion.
Then throughout the day depending on time of day and environment, it can get itchy, and people asking questions or giving odd looks or stares.
Then in the evening, when exercising, again the stares and looks.
Then at night, during bath time, again when applying soap, you get to feel every growing bump or new bump that appears.

We have tried various types of medication, but the battle is tough.. even very expensive new medication seems to work only for a while, now it seems that the psoriasis is back with a vengeance.

The Psoriasis has now spread to my arms and my back.. and beginning to appear on my torso.

My emotional ups and downs don't go well with ppl, because I'm tired of answering, but does it put them off as well.. that I don't talk to them and they don't talk to me? Am I pushing them away from me? I feel sorry that they are at the receiving end of my emotional state..

It is emotionally draining.
It seems easy to say "Trust God" .... and I do trust Him.. but what do I do in the meantime?

The word for me for my condition is "Unexpected" .. and how to not expect when everyone around you expects things to happen... how do I see God and only God when everyone seems to be shouting different things.

I'm honestly tired.. wish I could just rest..

I pray each night.. I surrender each night.. I hope.. I pray .. I want God to be glorified and victorious. .

Until I come to a point of nothingness.. then God can be everything.. have I reached that part in my life?

*may add more to the blog later*... thank you for reading my rantings

My Testimony: The JOurney So far

2011-01-17T15:48:00.001+08:00

Last nite.. we had our Leader's Appreciation Dinner for our Zone PJN4 and PJS2 at Kokopelli.. No pictures yet.. anyways.. they'll be on facebook soon I think.

I was asked by Pastor Chris M to share my story so far.. and here's what I wrote... (of course as I shared.. I ad-libbed).. This the main gist of it..

About this time last year during I was on crutches & you see me today still using crutches from time to time & no this is not a new incidence. It has been a continuation of the same incident from then. I have what doctor's have diagnosed as an autoimmune condition called psoriasis which can lead to arthritis. This condition is primarily triggered by the stress which I faced at work doing overseas sales along with overseas technical support.
I am thankful that I can share briefly about my journey with this condition. I stayed away from church for nearly 5 months because of arthritis in my ankles & injured knees.
My wife & parents have prayed & sought various medical treatments in the past year. It was exceptionally hard to be bedridden for 2 weeks in pain & being unable to sleep as my condition worsened. It was horrible way to celebrate my 36th birthday in bed. I stayed away from church also because my wife & were getting tired of answering the same question again & again to ppl who meant well, but didn't realise that it was emotionally draining to rehearse the same answer & to politely try to refuse to try many different types of treatment.
Today I'm able to walk thru God's grace who guided us to the right place for physiotherapy. I'm not cured as this is still an existing condition. It will probably take time. We appreciate the leadership of the church for joining us in prayer & continue to covet ur prayers for us in this trying journey.
Through this time as we prayed God revealed to us that He also wanted us to fully launch our centre for children with learning differences. We came to a decision that I would quit my job. As we shared this with Pr Chris, Caryn & Pr Margaret they affirmed us it was if a burden had been lifted from the whole situation. So as of 1st of January this year I'm now full time working at our centre called Vineyard.

2 things we learnt in this journey.
Firstly we learnt not to ask God "Why" in such situations... But to ask "How do I respond" & "What do u want me to learn & do" in these situations.
Secondly there are times where we need to let our head lead our hearts & there are also times to let our heart lead our head. Primarily is to always be open to God in both avenues.

So I give glory to God for sustaining my wife & I thru this time. I ask again to remember us in ur prayers. Thank you.

It's Been Sometime..

2011-01-16T01:04:00.000+08:00

Yeah.. it has been sometime since I last blogged.

I got back to work on June 25th after a 2 month break. Well.. I still worked from home thanks to the boss.
Used up all my hospitalization leave.

Was in a wheelchair for quite sometime, until early September.. walked slowly.
But I did manage to go to Singapore for a conference, in August. Which was a good holiday for me + faith building.
Thanks to good friends like Shawn and Gabe who also allowed me to stay with them during that time.
Met up with family and good friends along the way.

But I have to report that the Stelara shots helped in the beginning, but I have stopped taking them, because
a. Getting a bit too expensive.. Discounted shots are RM4000/dose.. I had a total of 4 shots in a span of 6 months
b. It seems it's a life long thing

So I'm doing this the traditional way.. Pray and Stress free.

I can't say that's it's clearing up but it's spreading. Do pray for me that I will be able to handle the stress.
I am walking properly now, can't run yet. Jumping also not possible.
I am back on Dew Crew duty since the Worship God Conference in DUMC.

Trying to exercise 2-3 times a week on the bicycle and treadmill. For long distances in the mall/ park I use my crutches. If my legs are a bit tired and I need to go to the mall.. I use the wheelchair.

At the prayer conference.. this word was shared to me "UNEXPECTED"... all this while I've been expecting this and that. I need to change my mindset.. to be not stress about expecting things to happen.. but to let God work.. and continue to just be diligent in what I do.

I quit my job in December to pursue what God has called me to do.. to open up a centre of learning for Kid's with learning Differences.. yeah.. i wrote about it before.. called Vineyard..

I'm into my 3rd week running this venture with my wife and God. It's so far so good.. just I miss interacting with adults.

Nevertheless I am still thankful for the journey I've had it's taught me to hold on to God's things more preciously and to make the most out of every situation for His Glory...

Sorry for the fragmented thoughts.. this post is just to quickly update what's been happening.. I gotta get up early to meet a friend and then off to Dew Crew duty for the weekend..

Tataz for now..

Dave Rat.. Sound Engineer

2010-08-02T08:01:00.000+08:00

Interesting sound-techie stuff.. :D

Worship Leading.. The Basics

2010-07-28T07:28:00.001+08:00

Follow this link.. should be great!!

Oh For A Thousand Tweaks - On the Mixer Board

2010-07-01T08:57:00.001+08:00

Oh, for a thousand tweaks to do
On my sound mixer board,
The glories of the sound and mix,
The triumphs of its make!
My gracious ears and my head,
Assist me to proclaim,
To spread through all the auditorium
The sounds of the band.

The names of singers charms our fears
And bids our sorrows cease,
Sings music in the sinner’s ears,
Brings life and health and peace.

Update: What's Happening...

2010-06-03T11:11:00.002+08:00

HI there.. just an update..

I went by the dermatologist clinic for my treatment 2.5 weeks ago. The treatment is an injection with Biologics of Stelara to help treat the skin condition that is also supposed to help with the Arthritis in my right ankle.

However, something happened to me, I slipped while on my crutches, because the floor outside the clinic was wet due to rain & moss.

I couldn't use my right leg, because my right ankle was swollen and right knee was in pain.
So my left knee took the pressure. Since then, I have been in bed for 2 weeks. No major injury, just swollen ligaments and muscles. They are getting better, so it looks like I'll be at home a bit longer.

Am in a wheelchair thanks to a loan from a friend from church, but things are getting better slowly. My skin condition is improving, and we are continuing to trust the Lord that my right ankle will get better.

So at the present stage, left knee and right ankle are still on the mend. Right knee 90% ok, Left ankle 90% ok. Hence the need for a wheelchair.

Please pray for continued healing and the right treatment.

What's Happening To Me.. .

2010-05-20T09:36:00.004+08:00

I guess.. a lot of you who have seen me around church and work are wondering what's been happening to me.
For the past 6-7 months, I have been on my crutches, for a bad sprain on my left ankle, that didn't heal after going to a number of doctors and physiotherapists and sinsehs.

X-Rays didn't reveal anything but only after an MRI it showed that my left ankle sustained some inflammation and tears that took a long time to heal, due to 2 preexisting conditions that I have in my body
a. Gout
b. Psoriasis

My left ankle took some time to heal and for the past 3-4 weeks, the left ankle got better, but 2 weeks ago, my right ankle gave way and started to swell up, I guess for having to overwork it since Nov 2009 until April 2010.

The diagnosis, Psoriatic Arthritis,
Basically what it is, I have an overactive immune system that causes my skin to break out in blots and patches of white and thick skin (termed as Psoriasis), and while that happens, there are also chemicals that are produced that attack the joints/ligaments. Due to old injuries, it has attacked my ankle joints.
With psoriasis I am not supposed to take anti-inflammatory medications that can cause my skin condition to flare up and then cause more pain. (Yep, it's a vicious cycle)

For the past 1 month I have been at home and trying to get better, but still not getting better. My parents have been praying for me and trying to get me to see different types of specialists.
And as of Monday this week we've decided to try to tackle this with some latest medication. It's gonna be expensive, but it will hopefully reduce this problem.

Psoriasis is incurable, but manageable with lifestyle adjustment, especially reduction of stress which will hopefully lead to the next phase in my life.

I have even stopped going to church on weekend celebrations because of the long walks within church and the "concerned" people who ask what's happening, without understanding that it is difficult to stand (while in pain) and explain to them the whole story. Some who ask me what has happened, usually then offer advise as if they are a specialist. It is emotionally painful to have to rehearse this story to people over and over again, sometimes even to the same people. For this reason I am avoiding certain persons in this period of time.
I have not lost faith by not going to church, if that's what some people are worried about.

I thank God for persons like my zone pastors, zone leaders, cell leaders and cell members who try to understand the problem and then take active action to pray for me.

It has been a difficult journey for Emily and I in the past few months, I have tried to remain strong, but it isn't easy when you are in pain and unable to sleep at nights due to the arthritic pain. My long leave ends on the 7th of June, but I am unsure if I will be well enough to walk or drive a car then, I pray that a solution will present itself.

As for now, I remain at home out of contact from people, except via the Cyberworld. I ask for prayer and understanding from all my friends.

Funny Story : Heard in a sermon

2010-04-29T18:11:00.002+08:00

This story was related in a sermon by Ps Wayne Cordiero..

I once heard of 2 neighbors and one had a rabbit and the other had a dog. And the dog was constantly barking at the rabbit and the neighbor who owned the rabbit kept calling and asking that the dog be put away. The neighbor with the rabbit even called the dog pound to have the dog be put away for causing a nuisance in the society.

Then the neighbor with the dog got frustrated and one day just prayed. "God I am so tired of this neighbor could you please do something, cause her to die or move away or something".

Then one day her dog went missing and she was worried and she went looking for her dog and as she looked for her dog, to her horror the dog suddenly turned up with the rabbit in it's mouth all dirty and bloody. Then she was horrified and said "Oh God, what did I pray for?"

She quickly attempted to rectify the situation as if nothing happened, and she got the rabbit from the dog, washed it, shampoo-ed it, blow dried it and took it back to the the neighbor's yard and propped it up (because rigor mortise was already settling in) and quickly went back to her home hoping that the neighbor wouldn't realise what had happened.

2 hours later, she heard a blood curling scream from the neighbor's house, and she rushed over acting surprised and concerned, "What happened to you?" she asked.. The neighbor replied....

"Oh my God, our rabbit died yesterday and we buried it, but now it has returned from the dead!!"

My Itchy-fied Story with the BASS

2010-03-09T09:08:00.001+08:00

This was a comment I posted in MWM Forum about how I came about playing the bass 2 years ago.

I had interest in music since a young age.. so dad sent me for piano classes in standard 2 (in which i faired poorly in my practical) never even going for 1 practical exam
Only did Grade 1 Theory and stopped, dad said we can't afford lessons or a piano. I only managed to start again in form 5 when waiting for my SPM
results and finished Grade 4 Theory (1991).. then stopped again because I left home to come to KL to study.

1992 - 1995
My elder brother (Patrick.. not Leong ) had guitar lessons when he was young, and when he left home after form 5, picked up the guitar during his uni days, playing for Charismatic Prayer meets. Being impressionable, I also picked up the guitar, hammering on it 2 hours a day, irritating everyone in my aunt's house.

I chanced upon Hard Rock Cafe in 1992, watchin Asia Beat, and was caught up with this cool chinese guy (with long hair), and watched him play a 5-6 string bass. PLaying "Let's Groove Tonight" by EWF, i loved the beat and style, and from then I fell in love with the bass.

I used to lug my guitar to college and back ondays that I played at Charismatic Prayer meets, striking up conversations with classmates, who were interested in music. A malay guy, named Azmi, decided to teach me the roots for bass.. And the first song we picked up to play in da band was "Sweet Child Of Mine" and that was practically the only song I knew how to play. Everytime we went to the studio was that song over and over again. plus 1-3 other songs, Nirvana, Bon Jovi etc.

1996-1998
I was still no good at bass, then, I left for australia, with my trusty guitar, immediately playing for OCF. And soon after, played bass at only OCF Camps. I bought my first and only bass from OCF Melbourne, when they wanted to sell their 4 String Squire Jazz Bass (Japan). Cost me USD150, with no strap or case.

I practiced without an amp, and had my first ever gig at a Taiwanese Student's night, ( I wonder where are the pictures?)..

I used to cycle and move around with my bass to practices without a case.
I only bought a hard case when I came back to Malaysia.

1999
Back in Malaysia, I met up with my olde Catholic friends and my guitar Sifu, and he invited me to join his band to play bass.. From then on it was secular songs.. and I bought my Marshall 60 Bass amp for a gig and have kept it ever since.

2001- 2002
I upgraded the pickups and pots on my bass when I went to Japan in 2001 and bought Seymour Duncan Passive J Pickups.

I met up with Andy Peterson at his shop in Wilayah Complex early 2002 and I was impressed with his humbleness to repair my simple bass and he asked me to play a few grooves for him, and I was like.. want to *pengsan* man.. so i showed him whatever little i knew about playing bass and he gave me a few tips. And even invited me to his shop to jam with him. I was in awe, but never did take him up on his offer. And a few years later he closed his shop.

*btw.. ppl tell me i look like him.. aiyor.. so pai-seh*

*wah very cheong hei already*

I then came to DUMC and looked for opportunities to play bass, but received no response from Worship team then. So I joined Dew Crew, and learnt a new art form. Sound Mixing.

In the meantime, I still played with my secular band at weddings receptions, played for Children's church. Started meeting up with various MWM bassists (Anson who joined my cell, Gabriel & Ian Chong) of whom I've had tremendous privilege to learn from.

I am also now in possession(by God's providence) of a Nathan East Preamp, and a broken neck Washburn Bass (4 string). I look forward to the day I will be able to graduate to a 5 or 6 string.

Now here I am today, a Sound Techie, Bassist & Cell Leader.
Of which I am very happy to serve in thanks to everyone for your patience and opportunities to learn with you all.

Prophecy Fulfilled? Need to check 1 by 1

2010-02-25T10:08:00.002+08:00

Some website published this in their tracts, so I am going to read them one by one to verify them lah..

1 Ups-man-ship aka Kiasu-ism

2010-02-06T18:35:00.002+08:00

been thinking.. :P

There are ppl out there who just can't say anything good about other ppl and will call others in derogatory terms just because they seem weak or not up to par. It is sad and true in this dog-eat-dog world.
It's sad that sometimes ppl can't find anything good to say.. but to say something horrible.

If someone ain't as good as you,
encourage them,
If someone hasn't achieved your level of mastery
teach them
Remember you were there once before..

To you 1 Ups-Man-Ship person.. please watch where you're sailing your ship :P

Everything-Tim Hughes

2010-01-19T11:58:00.004+08:00

Wonderful Song.. Joe Loy sang it at CUC10..

Everything : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6V0rgrt1nTM

Chords for Everything

VERSE 1:
G
GOD IN MY LIVING
C
THERE IN MY BREATHING
Em
GOD IN MY WAKING
D
GOD IN MY SLEEPING

G
GOD IN MY RESTING
C
THERE IN MY WORKING
Em
GOD IN MY THINKING
D
GOD IN MY SPEAKING

CHORUS:
C D
BE MY EVERYTHING
Em D
BE MY EVERYTHING
C D
BE MY EVERYTHING
G
BE MY EVERYTHING

VERSE 2:
G
GOD IN MY HOPING
C
THERE IN MY DREAMING
Em
GOD IN MY WATCHING
D
GOD IN MY WAITING
G
GOD IN MY LAUGHING
C
THERE IN MY WEEPING
Em
GOD IN MY HURTING
D
GOD IN MY HEALING

BRIDGE:
C
CHRIST IN ME
D
CHRIST IN ME
Em
CHRIST IN ME THE HOPE OF GLORY
C D Em
YOU ARE EVERYTHING

C
CHRIST IN ME
D
CHRIST IN ME
Em
CHRIST IN ME THE HOPE OF GLORY
C D G G/B
BE MY EVERYTHING

Boundaries...

2009-11-24T10:11:00.003+08:00

I guess.. it's never easy to write about boundaries.. because when we try to draw a line, some people would have already expected that they are within their boundaries.. but in truth.. they are not.

When we put boundaries these are areas where others should not enter, like for instance in a marriage.. when 2 ppl are married, how are their lives knitted together should not be torn by the inclusion of others.

Once the freedoms within singlehood can no longer be permitted into a marriage (and vice versa)

So in speaking to different ppl depending on which side of the boundary, we have to respect the boundaries that have been set by the single or the marrieds.

For example

Singles don't like to be asked
- So when's your turn?
- When are you gonna settle down? What's wrong with you?
- Why are you so picky?

Marrieds don't like these statments
- So when's your turn? esp about kids
- How's your husband/wife? especially the if it's the single of the opposite gender that's asking, even if it's out of genuine concern
- You've changed. Of course I've changed. I'm married

I guess this will be a lifelong battle that we have to learn to be aware and yet not oversensitive about, we must guard the areas of our lives because they are precious to us and not let anyone or anything take a foothold in it.

Learn to take one stride at a time, and recognise ppl will make these mistakes and ask these questions because they don't know their boundaries..

GERAM? Play this song lah

2009-11-15T06:56:00.002+08:00

A song from the past that I enjoyed as a kid. hahahhaha

New Hope Sermon: Ask What not Why..

2009-11-07T15:38:00.003+08:00

Below is the notes for the sermon i just listened to.. I pray that we as the Body of Christ will continue to follow these basic principles of living..

Listen&Watch to the sermon here

My 3 take home points
a. Not let our education become a religion, but let it become a revelation for our relationship
b. Who am I when I am in a different and unfamiliar situation. My relationship will determine who I am when I am in a different place
c. Ask God "What you want me to do?" not "Why does this happen to me?" in every situation.

Saul: God's Interruptions

"And it came about that as he journeyed, he was approaching Damascus, and suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him; and he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, 'Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?'" (Acts 9:3-4)

# Pay attention to SIMPLE reminders.
"And when we had all fallen to the ground, I heard a voice saying to me ... 'Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.'" (Acts 26:14)

"Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin ..." (Zech. 4:10 NLT)

# Change is from the INSIDES.
"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness. Even so you too outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness." (Matt. 23:27-28)

"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me ..." (Gal. 2:20)

# When God prompts a change, ask WHAT not WHY.
"And I answered, 'Who art Thou, Lord?' And He said to me, 'I am Jesus the Nazarene, whom you are persecuting.' ... And I said, 'What shall I do, Lord?' And the Lord said to me, 'Arise and go on into Damascus; and there you will be told of all that has been appointed for you to do.'" (Acts 22:8-10)

"And Zaccheus stopped and said to the Lord, 'Behold, Lord, half of my possessions I will give to the poor, and if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I will give back four times as much.'" (Luke 19:8)

Roots & Wings: Reading it..

2009-11-05T11:47:00.001+08:00

Am beginnning to read a discipleship book , Roots & Wings by Pr Edmund and Ann Chan of CEFC Singapore.. here's part of what's going thru my mind today.

Was reading an excerpt out of Chuck Colson's book (as quoted in Roots & Wings).. in summary... Our affluent society and technology advancements has resulted in a life that is self centred, self absorbed, frightened and hollow ppl..
And we are all in the consumeristic lifestyle.. that says "Give us what we want" and Commercials says it all.. And business leaders do just that..

This culture even permiates the church.. are we serving the congregation what they want.. or do we present to God what God wants?

Technology and advancement should help us in our worship to be drawn towards God Himself.. to give Him our love, worship and to glorify Him!

Rude People

2009-10-29T10:01:00.002+08:00

This is kinda work issue.

It's always about what one person says against what antoher person says. We can either go about it in a nice way or a rude way.

Just encountered a nasty Vice President of a public listed company.

He accused me and my company about twisting and turning the facts. I didn't want to talk to him before because I have heard him speak, I have seen him in action.. and it's not pretty.

And there's no etiquette in his phone conversations.
Amongst the things I've heard him say

a. In discussion of a project.. he speaks loudly in the background "EH! I thought I told you we're not dealing with this company anymore?"
b. Disconnects the phone when he feels like it
c. Even my MD doesn't want to speak to him

Just because they are a rich and public listed company doesn't give them and him the right to treat others like dogs.. Just wish I could name the company.. but that would make me like them..

GRRRRR....

Acceptance... Just Accept It

2009-10-19T07:55:00.003+08:00

I've been pondering over the few weeks about acceptance when I encountered it again this past weekend.

For many of you who know me long enough.. I come from a rich traditional Catholic background and in the past 12 years made a recommitment of my faith into the protesting movement and have settled into DUMC (www.dumc.com.my) for the past 8 years.

Some might say I have been borned again, but I guess I always knew from the age of 7 I'd be involved deeply in church. After all I put "Cita-cita : Paderi" in my student portfolio.

I had always admired the selfless giving of a Catholic Priest.. (not about his celibacy lah).. just that he did travel from place to place to meet ppl and serve them

*To be continued*

Anyways.. safe to say I am very happy where I am and I thank God for each day I live in this community of believers.

What intrigues me is when I talk to Catholics I get this question after I share with them that I am no longer serving and worshiping in the Catholic church, I get a smug look and get asked "Because of girl is it?" "Your wife is a protestant is it"

They don't realise my journey has always been an inner search of my own life and how He speaks to me..

I broke up with my Catholic girlfriend because we no longer shared the same direction, vision & commitment in life. It was hard, she and I both suffered because of this break up. It was not an easy chapter in our lives.

Then I struggled with singlehood for many years within the protestant movement finding a girlfriend & companion, being rejected a number of times. It was the point when I surrendered to Him.. Emily appeared :D

I guess ignorance is bliss to people who assume that a person can convert for the right reasons.

There are a few things I could say.. but I do believe that it may be deemed to be insulting my Catholic friends. My Catholic friends are my good & precious friends.

While there may be Catholics who have been "Born-Again" because of a girl/guy who brought them over to the protestant movement..
But when it comes to me... know that I have done my soul searching many years ago, and am convinced in my heart & spirit that I am where I am supposed to be.

And also to not assume that everyone who has "converted" to the protestant faith is because of attraction to another gender.. please respect their choices and not assume that their reasons are purely because of amorous pursuits.

So in summation to my friends who are still surprised that I am in the protestant movement because of a girl.. I say.. "I didn't" .. and to "Just Accept It"

One of My Fav Songs : Land Down Under - Men AT Work

2009-09-12T09:35:00.001+08:00

Carpal Tunnel Update

2009-08-18T10:25:00.002+08:00

One week after the surgery.. still healing .. the doc dressing the wound says my stitches are healing well..

However some numbness & tingling still persists.. according to the doc.. takes time for the nerve to also recover.
Forearm feels not tight because of lack of exercise.

Well i hope to get into rehab soon..

Hope Dorset Rehab can help.. run by 2 of my wonderful friends (shameless plugging)

Carpal Tunnel Surgery Done!

2009-08-12T10:27:00.002+08:00

Am done with the surgery
CTS

thank u all for praying.. now i'm typing with mym left hand only

Mistaken Identity?

2009-08-06T11:04:00.002+08:00

You know there have been times I have been mistaken as other people.. In the past I have been mistaken for 2 wonderful guys..

Elliot Koon

Liang

Got similarities meh?

Of Weddings & Obligations

2009-08-06T09:25:00.005+08:00

A random thought of the day.. just thinking about blog entries..

At the rate weddings are going, I realise we spend a lot on our weddings to make it a celebration to remember. And like on Mix FM a month or so ago, we heard that ppl do spend a bomb on weddings, get into debt to pay for the wedding and even sell drugs to pay for the wedding.

What have we gotten into, with Bridal Boutiques, Packages and Hotels with their exorbitant packages. You can't really get a hotel package for less than RM80/table nowadays. Don't get me started on the food. It's mass produced, and the taste may not be so great. Plus.. in my opinion.. I really wonder what's with all this food presentation? I don't get it.. swords, new age music, carrying a gal on the sedan-chair, with the food.

Whatever happened to a meaningful wedding of good celebration, making time for one another and good music, instead its been replaced with worry about collecting ang-pows to make enough for the payment, clothes changing, booze, yam-seng-ing (cheers) at each table trying to make the groom/bride drunk, and the list goes on.

I must say what I like about weddings is the celebration of the couple, and not bankrupting the couple. Yes everyone has to make money, but at what cost?

Given that I do participate in weddings quite a lot from Worship leading, to sound mixing, to playing with the band at the wedding dinner, Emceeing, etc... I just wish that it were not that expensive these days.

Having said that as Bride & Groom attitude, I think it's good to set your own expectations prior to weddings.. (From my own wedding I've come up with my opinion actually)
1. Set the budget "This is how much we'll spend and can give allowance for 10% more)
2. Don't expect to receive ang-pows, it'll add stress to you.
3. Be willing to sacrifice certains wants to meet your budget
4. Don't let ppl dictate or entice you for extras
5. Invest in people many years before weddings, it comes around with great friends who help wonderfully.
6. There is no "standard" rate for giving ang-pows to helpers, decide in your heart how much you can afford.
7. Let the main thing be the main thing.. God's Presence, your wedding ceremony that will speak of His greatness, goodness and blessings, appreciation of important ppl and what you exude on that day is important (Joy, Gratitude, Happiness, Love) ..

no one wants to see a sourpuss bride and/or groom on that day. (as ppl have said I am a sourpuss at times)

It rained at our wedding dinner.. but we thank God that He spoke through a pastor friend who said "It doesn't matter what happens, as long as you both know you got married.. that's all that matters"

Having said that I want to continue to apologise to all who came for our wedding dinner and didn't get to eat much because the caterers couldn't cope with the rain and have any other plans. But it was the best we could do under the cirmcustances.

Well I guess that's all I have to say for now.. Take care & God Bless

Journal Entry 29 July : Bribes Of Fools

2009-07-30T22:28:00.003+08:00

Scripture:
Deutronomy 16
18 Appoint judges and officials for each of your tribes in every town the LORD your God is giving you, and they shall judge the people fairly. 19 Do not pervert justice or show partiality. Do not accept a bribe, for a bribe blinds the eyes of the wise and twists the words of the righteous. 20 Follow justice and justice alone, so that you may live and possess the land the LORD your God is giving you.

Observation:
Being such a short passage, I find the whole passage itself applicable. But what really popped out was this "Do not accept a bribe, for bribe blinds the eyes of the wise and twists the words of the righteous".
How true even from back then. Bribes has a deep seated influence in the life, for at the core of it has been greed and wanting more for oneself. So that those who "have" will always be able to oppress those who "have not". What does this teach the "Have Nots" , that through bribery things are achieved?
Eventually a "Have Not" may one day become a "Have".. but by what means?
Truly bribes (greed, love for money) blinds us from truth, greys the lines, thins the borders, of EVEN the wise.
Once caught in it.. it's very hard to escape.. for it has bound you .. till you are one day shamed for taking it.

Application:
How do we recognise bribes even in it's littlest of forms. How do we differentiate bribe and rewards?
Always look at the bigger picture.. Personal gain, at the expense of another's loss?
OR Mutual gain for the benefit of all? I think these are simple rules.. And we need to qustion it on a daily basis. Check against the Word Of God each day.. you will gain wisdom.

Response :
Open my eyes Lord, I want to see Jesus .. the Author of Truth and Perfector of my faith! AMEN!

Reasons Why People Don't Go To Church

2009-07-18T10:24:00.001+08:00

A thought provoking video about reasons why ppl don't go to church, and what they can look forward too.. Message is Clear!

Core Values of DUMC

2009-06-23T08:04:00.003+08:00

Just wanted to remind my fellow bro's and sisters at DUMC about our core values, as I was reading "The Dream Church" .. I confess, I've forgotten what they were. I pray we will remind ourselves about our core values in whatever ministry, career, work and play that we do, for we bear the aroma of Christ wherever we go. And we as the church need to be aware of the core values we stand for.

7 Core values distilled into DUMC

1. Celebrative Worship in Joy & Gratitude
2. Connected Community of Grace & Godliness
3. Compelling Faith throught the Word & Prayer
4. Cohesive Family through Truth & Faithfulness
5. Contagious Evangelism Through Love & Kindness
6. Compassionate Service of Hope & Healing
7. Courageous World Missing through the Spirit's Empowerment

We should let these core values be the foundation of what we stand for, let it be an expression of ourselves as a church, cell group, ministry group, workers, people, individuals..

To quote Pr Daniel in his book

"People need and want something to commit to, something that they feel is worthy of their best effort. People want to belong to something that can make a difference - that really counts"... Don't we all?

Shark Catch :)

2009-06-19T10:28:00.000+08:00

Pleasure or Pressure to Perform

2009-06-04T14:25:00.003+08:00

I regularly think about ministry and missions on what it really means to us as followers of Christ. and the title just came to me.. "Pleasure to Perform" as well as "Pressure to Perform"

I have not fully formulated my thoughts on this but thought I should pen/type down the title as I think it can be a great point to ponder and discuss..

Anyone care to respond on what they think this title means to you.. :) please comment..

MCCC : Why I'm Not Going? Justified.. but feeling guilty still :p

2009-06-03T09:41:00.003+08:00

13th MCCC is starting tomorrow.. and somehow this year.. I'm not really feeling the "vibe" or excitement for it.. at the same time I feel guilty for not going, and excited at what I'm gonna be doing instead of it.

Mixed feelings I guess.

Why am I not going?

Well, I promised Emily that I'd go with her for a Khildren's Kamp in Kampar.. (oh no.. KKK) not good not good.. ;) *corny joke*

Emily's teaching I'm her bodyguard, projector guy, computer guy, guitarist, bouncer (is it the same as bodyguard?), porter, musician, backup singer, PA guy and everything else I need to be :)

I'm glad I'm going because it continues to teach me how to address children and work with them.

I guess why .. i'm having mixed feelings is because I've attended most if not all the MCCCs eversince I've joined DUMC. I'm going to miss being part of this yearly event where we host delegates in our church and share with them the successes we've had with Cell Church Structure and the things to avoid when implementing a cell church structure.

I guess it's a tradition for me.. but traditions have a numbing effect on our lives.. so this year probably it's good for me to be away. I can get the DVDs I think of all the plenary sessions and hope to glean from them.

Not that we've made it, but as Pr Daniel shared, we have a call from God to share this. And we continue to share it, and continue to be a blessing to others.
I wouldn't say MCCC or Cell Church is our niche (in fact there are many churches who are doing it successfully), but I do believe that MCCC gives us a platform to share and network with different people from different churches. It reminds us even when we feel stale.

I want to encourage those from DUMC who feel stagnat or stale to continue to serve and wait with an expectant heart when you attend this year's MCCC (even for the years to come)...

But, you know I won't be there this year, but I remain an ardent supporter of Manchester United.. err.. sorry.. Cell Church.. for it has worked for me.. without the Cell I would not have returned to the Lord properly. :P

So now... that I've said my piece/peace.. I don't feel guilty anymore :) YAY!
I look forward to this Friday's cell, as we host some of the MCCC delegates during cell visitation. It's gonna be a great time of worship and sharing.

Cell runs as per normal, but with VISITORS.. and I hope the cell members won't be "acting" hahaha
Let's be OURSELVES!

All the differences such Controversies

2009-06-02T13:20:00.002+08:00

As I remember what my sister in law said recently after she was listening to Marina Mahathir at Ops Gegar (2 months ago)

Moslems and Christians are not that much different

a. We're driven by same history
b. We're passionate about winning souls to our faith
c. We're drive by the "Word of God"
d. We believe that no one else is saved unless they profess the faith

I am not saying Who's right or Who's wrong.. I am just trying to bring an understanding to the fact that there is a lot of restrictions in sharing one's faith openly.

In general the people of the Book, believe that our salvation is not through our works but through a saving God.. Now, who is the true God is what the whole world is contending about. These 2 biggest and still growing faiths fight each other, blood is spilt, and it taints the land.

I just pray that we should learn to respect one another, let God be the judge, after all we all do believe in a just and righteous God who has His own prerogative. Let Him be the judge and not take offense in people who insult our faith. God is more than able to act out retribution and punishment justly.

I really want to see the people of God come together and just live to build each other up. Yes we live in an imperfect world, but let's make the best out of life.. live it to the fullest for His Glory.

For we are neither right nor wrong.. and we can never know honestly if we are right or wrong. .only God is.. and He will mete out His judgement in righteousness & peace with grace & mercy.

My 200th Blog Post!!! : FOR VERTIGO

2009-05-29T11:48:00.003+08:00

:) A video post of my band..

Vertigo Through The Years

Journal Entry 27 May 2009 : Keep Up The Good Word

2009-05-27T01:37:00.003+08:00

Scripture: Acts 13:44-14:7
14:7 where they continued to preach the good news

Observation
Paul & Barnabas are 2 great guys, even as the student was greater than the teacher. I would really like to know more about Barnabas. Were they encouragers of each other? Even so Barnabas was known as an encourager. What about Paul? Did Paul learn from the best. They continued to preach the good news in all faces of adversity, friction, betrayal, etc etc

Aren't we glad they CONTINUED to preach the good news

Application
I am reminded of the time in Uni when I tried to share the good news with a classmate, and he frustrated me with too many ill-logical presumptions. IN all adversities, we continue to share the gospel for there is no greater mission, ministry and witness for our Lord, but to share His love in action and in proclamation. Edification & Evangelism the thrust of each cell group.

Leading 2 cell groups of different dynamics, I will continue to preach the Good News even when there's no response.

Response
Lord thank you for the encouragement to continue to share your love. It is definitely needed in a discouraging world like this. The world needs it more.. and in fact.. it is necessary.. We shall share your love and your word O Lord.

Latest Craze: WarZone

2009-05-18T16:46:00.000+08:00

Journal Entry 16 May 2009: Restarted - Press On

2009-05-16T02:29:00.002+08:00

Scripture: Acts 8:1-8

4Those who had been scattered preached the word wherever they went. 5Philip went down to a city in Samaria and proclaimed the Christ[a]there.

Observation
This passage always strikes me at the same place. That it's always the response that they did not hesistate to preach the word wherever they went. It was a complete paradigm shift that they may have fled for their lives, but still preached the word which was the very reason for the persecution.

Application
I choose to be thick-skinned when the Gospel needs to be shared, for who knows your word is always planting a seed of hope to a searching unbeliever.Your acts, words, works and service counts largely on the faith you act out.

Response
Lord help me be like the apostles each day. Never wavering or swayering from the course.

Idris Jala... I didn't know. :) So don't judge a book by it's cover!

2009-05-06T08:12:00.002+08:00

At leader's meeting last night, I heard from Senior Pastor that Idris Jala is a Christian. Ah duh! So much I didn't know about him. I actually thought he was a Muslim, due to the nature of his name.

I should read more of the latest happenings.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idris_Jala

This is a wikipedia post.

Thank God for the Kelabits, who even though are supposedly a minority tribal group in East Malaysia, but I do believe because of God's favour (at Bario) have all been blessed and moving in His power. Amen.

Journal Entry 5 May 2009: Favour from the Government..Pray Lah!

2009-05-06T00:29:00.007+08:00

Scripture: Ezra 7
27 Praise be to the LORD, the God of our fathers, who has put it into the king's heart to bring honor to the house of the LORD in Jerusalem in this way 28 and who has extended his good favor to me before the king and his advisers and all the king's powerful officials. Because the hand of the LORD my God was on me, I took courage and gathered leading men from Israel to go up with me.

Observation
A small investigation of history needs to be made as to what has happened in the past few generations.
Daniel was alive during Cyrus the Great (Cyrus #2) & Darius,
Then Esther married Artaxerxes1,
Ezra and Nehemiah during Artaxerxes 1,

So you can see that the Jews have already been faithfully serving in the courts of the king,
Prime Minister (Daniel via test of fire)
Queen (Esther through a test of Faith),
Cupbearer (Nehemiah Personal Relationship)
Teacher (Ezra was probably not only teacher to the Jews but also to Babylonians).

We can gain favour from the government not by the clothes we wear or status we hold, but the faithfulness of our service. And to get there, it needs not bribery or to be confered through unjust methods. Observe Daniel & Esther. Judging by Daniel's & Esther's character, they would not just recommend anyone unless they were trusted, so that he/she would serve the king or teach the king's people.

Application
We all need to look beyond position and power, because it doesn't guarantee safety or responsibility. Relationship and trustworthiness does. With position and power that is earned through trust and relationship, we will have no fear. Even at any lowly position, we can still lead, and there show that we can be trusted.
We need to stop being cynical that only a certain people group can get what they want. We also need to pray we will get favour from a certain people group by earning their trust and build a relationship with them.

Response

Lord, guide us your nation to see that all men created equally and have access to favour from the powers that be and so that we can be part in leading this nation justly. In relationship we can have access to you Lord, so teach us how to build relationships with people in power so that we can also gain favour with them. Lord you can make things possible so that we can all make our nation, a nation of great exploits.

Treo Died .. Well Not Really

2009-04-21T10:59:00.008+08:00

Last Friday I was at a carpark and then dropped my beloved Treo650.
(UPDATES at the bottom of post)

I didn't realise till later that I could no longer hear or speak into the phone.

EKKKS! I could sms, read bible, Sync, do calendar stuff.. all except hear or speak into the phone!

So on Friday nite I backed up as much info as I could from the Treo to my notebook.

Well I sent it for repair at Digital Mall. Seemed a decent shop for repair.
RM30 for labour and the rest is just parts.

The guy calls me up on Saturday to tell me that he needs my charger to charge my battery.

When I met him on Sunday, he told me the bad news

a. He repaired the phone and it was working, making and receiving calls
b. He said after he put the casing back on, it didn't display anything and turns OFF after it is switched on.
c. He said he'll try to repair it further.
d. He broke my sim card holder while trying to take out the SIM card holder. AIYO!

I was sad and miffed at the same time.

So I took it back on Monday and he said there's nothing more he can do .
I was even more sad and miffed.

So I took the phone and tried many means to revive it, reset, etc etc . short of giving it CPR. :P

Anyways.. as I soon discovered that actually the OS is still working. BEcause of some of the button presses that I normally perform like
a. Unlock Keypad (is followed by the lighting up of the keyboard backlight)
b. Lock Keypad (is followed by shut down of keyboard backlight)
c. Pressing other keys like messaging, calendar will bring it out of Lock Mode
d. Brightness control will also show up on the Keyboard backlight.

This leads me to believe he KILLED my PDA touchscreen. So I'm going back there to see if there's anything he can do.

Anyways.. do pray I can get it repaired. Otherwise I have to buy one "Open Box" unit for RM500.

Thanks!

UPDATE : 22 April 2009

This morning at 9am, my Treo RANG! hahaha.. AS I remember it must be the calendar reminding me to read my Journaling Bible Reading Plan. So you see.. it's not dead.. it is a live. Treo's Not Dead, It is Alive!.

Now just to look for a screen to replace it (maybe I'll repair it myself.. if I can find a spare screen) hehehhe

I think for now, I'll go ahead and buy the Open Box unit, and in the meantime look for the screen separately.
Best Scenario.. I have 2 TREOs (and hopefully to last me 10 years)
Worst Case Scenario.. I Have 1 TREOs to last me next 5 years.

Not a bad deal eh?

UPDATE 23 April:

I'm going to buy the TREO tonite.. wondering anyone wanna follow me to Mid Valley? Alvin can't follow me.. he's busy.. *sigh*..
Anyways.. new TREO here I come.

UPDATE 24th April:

I bought my Treo last night from Sean. A quick and brief meeting. But he was interested enough to know what happened to my phone.

I am currently sychronizing my phone with the backup information.
I initially had trouble, but tikam here and there.. I managed to get it to work. Phew. I'm glad it's on it's way to recovery.

Next step. See if I can revive the other phone with spare parts.

Side Note: With this new phone I used the 512 MB SD card to give to my wife so that she can ressurect her Zire71. It's good now she's got the Bible installed in it.

What a relief.. thank God I can purchase a BRAND NEW Treo650 for a wonderful price.

AMEN!!!

Journal Entry 16th April 2009: What if I am called to do something else?

2009-04-17T00:25:00.005+08:00

Scripture:
Neh 3:5,27
5 The next section was repaired by the men of Tekoa, but their nobles would not put their shoulders to the work under their supervisors.
27 Next to them, the men of Tekoa repaired another section, from the great projecting tower to the wall of Ophel.

Observation:
Men of Tekoa? Who were they?
I'm reluctant to reflect on this not because it pokes a needle in my side.. but more that I remember Snr Pastor sharing something about this. Probably it's his influence in my life. eh?
However my observation may be different.
Who were they?
the Men of Tekoa were a motivated entrepreneurial group that rebuilt an important section of Jerusalem while simultaneously protecting their families in a time of conflict.

Throughout this chapter of Nehemiah, it records many ppl involved in the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem. Firstly financed by a pagan king, secondly, overseen by a cupbearer, built by NOT wall builders, but carpenters, diamond makers, goldsmith etc etc.

And they built it in record time!

Application:

I ask myself this question.. if the men of Tekoa and all the other ppl could build the wall which is out of their field of "expertise", did they do it with passion or without passion. The Men of Tekoa did.. they did 2 things instead of one.
So I believe if they have passion, knowing the purpose of building the wall, even though it's not their field of expertise, they put their heart mind and soul, and body into it. Spear in one hand, Trowel in another...
Do I work as hard on God's call in my life as hard as I work?

I seriously do want to. I thank God for Vineyard, thank God for what he wants me to do.. at the same time..I am scared lah.. heheheh

Response:

Lord cast out all fear in my next step, as I endeavor to respond to YOUR call in my life. Whom you call you will equip and as I remain in You.. I know I will be equipped.

Journal Entry 14 April 2009 : Want Something? Build Relationships

2009-04-15T00:38:00.005+08:00

Scripture:

Neh 2:4-5
The king said to me, "What is it you want?"
Then I prayed to the God of heaven, 5 and I answered the king, "If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my fathers are buried so that I can rebuild it."

Observation:
Nehemiah was a cupbearer and the King could have ignored Nehemiah's "emotional state" yet, the King didn't, the King had concern for him. Probably Nehemiah did build this fantastically trusted relationship with the king, since Nehemiah did perform tasting of all the food/drink before the King.
In that short moment, Nehemiah "prayed".. what was his prayer? we don't know, but I am sure he didn't burst forth in tongues.

It sure teaches us that in every situation that is a reason and a need for prayer.
A prayer he believes that the King will be moved to honour, shows the trust of the King in Nehemiah (probably due to relationship built over the years), in actual fact later... the King provided for the building of the walls.

And it sure shows how much confidence Nehemiah has in God to use him to build the walls! A Cupbearer building walls??!?! Indeed the faith of Nehemiah.

Application:

We're all asking God for one thing or another, have we prepared in our hearts what we should ask for. Are my motives in check before I ask? Have I built that trust and close relationship with God so that I know for "whatever I ask in His name He will grant it" ?

Asking and knowing what you receive is always based on relationship, between anyone, God, myself, and to others.

Response:
Lord help me build my relationships with those around me, so that I know what to ask of You for them.

Journal Entry 12 April 2009 : Easter Sunday, You Call me by NAME!

2009-04-13T00:27:00.004+08:00

Scripture

Mk 16:7
7But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.' "

Observation:

I find that as I have read this scripture and heard it being read so many times.. it's a bit dry to me. but, I have a question.. why say " Disciples and Peter" ? What is that distinction that the angel was saying? Is it perhaps a special reminder for Peter about his self-abdicated state of leadership amongst the disciples?

Peter must've still been grieving in guilt. And this was the beginning of his reinstatement.

Addendum: As I drove "silently" in my car this morning (Yes the Radio was OFF)..
I thought more about what I had journalled. These were "women" who delivered these message to the disciples and Peter. Why do we say "women".. in the context of Jewish culture at that time as we know.. women were regarded as only good for bearing children raising them and menial work. I also do believe that it shows how as Mark included the women as an important role of testimony in the lives of the early disciples and Christians. Their testimony meant something. It was probably hard for most of the disciples to believe their testimony, but Peter & John must have responded urgently as they were seen RUNNING to the tomb later in the gospels.

Thank God for women who help men believe!

Application:

God continues to share his care for Peter, as he does each day for all of us. As His children who may have strayed, said the wrong thing to offend someone, to lie, to deny truth etc etc. He says.. come back all's fine. Just don't do it again..
I need to continue to seek God as my forgiving saviour, who reinstates me and learn from these daily mistakes. He neither condemns me, nor does he want to be separate from me.

Response:

Lord thank you for being just you! For loving me, loving us so dearly, that you call me by NAME!
You've restored our dignity and our position as your men and women of faith!

Journal Entry 10 April 2009 : Good Friday.. Wisdom to Answer? Focus on the task ahead

2009-04-11T00:56:00.005+08:00

Scripture

11Jesus answered, "You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin."

12From then on, Pilate tried to set Jesus free, but the Jews kept shouting, "If you let this man go, you are no friend of Caesar. Anyone who claims to be a king opposes Caesar."

Observation

Jesus always spoke the truth for He knew what He was to endured, as He had already accepted the "cup of suffering".. This cup was offered to be taken away so many times.
The pain He felt at that time would have been already excruciating, and I'm sure the temptation to give up would be great.

But Christ held on to His belief and answered in wisdom. v11

Pilate had a "chance" to redeem himself, however he didn't. Thank God he didn't but at the same time it shows the character that Pilate was. A People pleaser. How many times have we become a people pleaser? and compromised on doing the right thing.
In this situation doing the right thing would actually have been the wrong thing. I believe that this teaches us to have a bigger picture on things.

Application:

Efficacy is the word. Doing the right thing with the right motive at the right time to achieve the desired result. Christ, didn't just "allow" himself to be led to the "cross" but he plotted that this would be the death to experience as according to scripture. I admire Jesus' resolute to the goal. He knew he too would rise form the dead, but that separation from God was too much too bear. What about myself? Am I able to suffer for my faith. I scaredly and sadly say no. But I do want to have this mindset.

Response:
Lord let my heart respond as ho you'd want me to respond. Amen

Think before you drink! (A Hilarious .. Yet Contemplative Joke..)

2009-04-08T13:56:00.002+08:00

This is a good story!!!!!

Cup of Tea.

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe two and a half years old and had just recovered from an accident.
Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my
favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the e veni ng news when I brought
Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and
lots of praise for making such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea,
because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here
I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink
it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know)

"Yes that’s very sweet, but did it ever occur to you that the only place she can
reach to get water is the toilet..?"

DUMC Auditorium.. Too Loud? Too Soft? Just Nice?

2009-04-08T02:39:00.002+08:00

Ah at last.. we've adjusted a few things for our main celebration auditorium / sanctuary

In the past 2 week.. a few things have been done to our Dream Centre auditorium

The "leaves" aka repeaters have been treated. But it only reduced about 20% of the echo.

The 3 array racks have been lowered slightly. and there seems to be more clarity to the sound.

However, of course different ears have different standards of acceptance.
It's too loud, it's too soft. What is the proper SPL needed.

Where I stand on the FOH it goes way up to 98dBA.

But nothing's been measured where the ppl are seated.

Honestly recommended levels for prolonged hearing )(>15 minutes) is about 80-85dB.. But that's already a bit too loud. Even from where I stand.. my SPL meter hovers around 75-80dBA. That's decent.

Only during worship different ppl have different requirements. I try my best to get everyone to have a wonderful worship experience. But I guess. that's just the best I can do..

Last week,
I learnt I made a few mistakes
a. Scared to put in more bass for the bass
b. Don't need to over compress the speaker

I hope to learn more and apply more in being a sound tech.

Journal Entry 7th April : No shortcuts.. Just Follow Jesus!

2009-04-08T02:06:00.004+08:00

Scripture
Jn 12:27-28
27"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. 28Father, glorify your name!"

Observation:
"Now my heart is troubled" .. what's this mean?
Jesus troubled? Why not? He was man after all. But since he knows all that's going to happen why be troubled?
After all, He's gonna be ressurected.
But I do believe being human at the same time, he knows what it's like to experience pain.. even more excruciating pain. Even at the last moment He said "Let this cup of suffering pass over me"
He still had a choice to avoid the suffering, but He still chose the Father's will over his own comfort, suffering, and even His own glory.

Application:
Do I take any shortcuts when faced with troubled times? Do I push the buck when the going gets tough?
I am tempted many times, and even considered them. I want this verse to be a reminder to me about such times and say "Father Glorify Your Name" .. not that I become a dumb sacrifice, but a meaningful sacrifice. The Lord will surely rescue me and turn the situation around. Commitment to a daily life of seeing beyond the present.. Live for the eternal treasures

Response :
Lord thank you for your your example in life. If it had not been for you all of us would perish, because we would not have a role model like you. Thank you Lord.. teach me to gain perspective like yours!

Journal Entry 6th April 2009 : Miracle or Miracle Maker?

2009-04-06T22:04:00.005+08:00

Scripture
John 12:9
Meanwhile a large crowd of Jews found out that Jesus was there and came, not only because of him but also to see Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead

Observation:

I seem to be asking myself about my motivation and people's motivation. Even today I asked about what's our motivation in evangelism. Do we seek it for our Glory, God's Glory, for ppl to love us or for God's love towards them?
We must be careful not to be overzealous in sharing God's word that it becomes offensive. Yes, God's word is not offensive, it's us who makes His word offensive. If something is offensive, it should be our delivery, or a hard heart.
Anyway, people came to see the miracle maker (Jesus) , or the miracle (Lazarus) or both. How often are ppl enthralled by a flashy show? How often are we?

It's just like today we seek the gift and not the giver... How do we as His ppl remind ourselves of this important fact and motivation.
I see the difference in
a. Lazarus, Mary & Martha had a relationship with Jesus
b. The ppl who came to watch the spectacle did not..

At the same time it is an attraction factor.. an invitation to get to know Him.. and not just stand there to be enthralled. Walk into God's presence and expect a touch from Him.

Application:

I must see beyond the gifts and things I've received from Him. I must build this relationship with Him. That even as "miracle" after miracle that I experience with Him, is enough evidence of a wonderful God. And how it can be a testimony to invite them into this marvelous relationship with Him. My life motivation, must be simple pure and easy to understand, that they will be drawn to my wonderful Lord Jesus Christ

Response:
Just a closer walk with thee, grant this Jesus is my plea, daily walking close to thee.. Let it be dear Lord let it be.

Journal Entry 31 March 2009: What's My Intimacy Level?

2009-04-04T11:49:00.002+08:00

What's My Intimacy Level? Journal Entry 31 March 2009

Scripture
Heb 10:22
Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us fom a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water

Observation:

God continues to call us to draw near to Him. There is a whole theme of union with Him throughout the Bible. The Communion, The Cleansing, His Glory is also ours etc etc.

He asks for our sincerity, as true & close friend, like a person whom we turn to at all times.

The song "Yesus (Kau Sahabatku)"

Whom do I turn to in troubled times? Am I hungering for God (as this true friend) that there's this desire to commune and communicate with Him daily.
We should know that His words and counsel are always wise and just right for us.

Application:
Sadly my time with Him is not as intimate as I'd like it to be.My journalling affair has dropped from a daily affair to about 3 times a week. It shows that I am not intentional with my time with Him. The intimate times with the Lord isn't like the times I spend with my wife each night before I sleep.
Journalling has become a mere reading and not writing it down. I think some of the things do crowd different times in my life. Like work, a hectic work schedule.
Perhaps waking up earlier in the morning is a better option for me. Or At night 1130 to 1200 (before I catch my Retro shows .. heheh)

It is an intentional time to journal because mornings is not the time when my Brian is working.

Because I MUST agreed that in HARD times, what stands out most apparently is our character that is built in the times spent before. This exercise/tool of journalling is building the bricks for our character as we reflect each day. It is God's direct word for me.

Response:
Lord... help me journal EACH and EVERYDAY!

Penguins? Why Penguins? ;)

2009-03-12T18:29:00.003+08:00

I was at Charge Up '09 conference in Penang 2 weeks ago.

We were there to share basically on things for the audio stream. To share our experiences with church and live music mixing and mixers.. Very technie and geeky stuff. well not Geeky.. but good stuff..

Came the 2nd day (Friday) with the message shared by Pastor Victor.
Pastor Victor and I don't have any history, I have heard of him and heard him preach once. And he's never met me before.
(I will add his message here if i can find it on my PDA)

After the message he asked us all to stand up and he wanted to pray for us.. As he was praying, he felt compelled to pray for certain people, Choon Ean, Poh Sim.. then me, then Joe..

This was what he said when he prayed for me..
Pr Vic: Paul, I see you in the future being involved in something not media related
Paul (inside voice): HUH? Apa ni? I came for a media conference and to share with people
Pr Vic: I see you being involved with leading and mentoring children. Children will begin to follow after you and learn from you the things God has put into your heart
Paul : *Sobbing*
Pr Vic: I see that you developing a tender heart, a father's heart to teach and to lead them.
Paul : *Sob some more*
Pr Vic : I see a picture of a ... *pause* .. Bear... a bear teaching it's cubs and it's cubs are following the bear and the cubs learn from it and follow him
Paul : *Continue sobbing*

This could've only come from God.. God can only reveal to Pr Vic, what Em and I have been doing in and through Vineyard.

So.. it has been a confirmation for me now that it is definitely what God wants for Em and I to do in this season and for a lifetime I believe.

All this while... God's been confirming and speaking to Em about our child learning centre. Because it can be none other than God revealing this timely word thru Pr Vic. Thank God for him.

Anyways.. the title of the blog says.. Penguins!

Let me explain.. I later went to share with Pr Vic about what he had just done for/to me. And shared what we were doing at Vineyard.

He confessed
"Actually, I want to tell you .. I didn't see a bear.. I actually saw penguins, and there was this main penguin, leading a bunch of smaller penguins and taking care of them. I couldn't share penguins to everyone, because I thought they'd laugh and lose concentration and the whole message.. so I had to make it up as I went along"

And hence.. that's why penguins..

Later on when I shared this story with Chris Leow, he gave me another revelation, that it is the Male Penguin that incubates and nurtures the baby penguin in the cold harsh winters. And this brought back memories of the movie I watched "March of the Penguins"

So I come now.. at this juncture in my lift and have received direction. It is a big step to take.. and I know my God is with me.. I will take it .. VERY SOON! He has not said when.. but the direction is clear. Indeed Praise God! Praise God!

Amen!

Christian Comedian

2009-03-03T15:55:00.000+08:00

Funny & Clean

Waiting In Line?

2009-03-03T15:32:00.002+08:00

Such Creative Scripting Writing...

Abe Laboriel

2009-03-03T14:57:00.002+08:00

Bassist Extraordinaire.. Today he's about 62 yrs old.. fantastic eh!

FireProof

2009-03-03T11:46:00.001+08:00

A Video to watch in the near future.. .. Look out for planned screening times ;)

We've heard or seen this somewhere before..

2009-02-20T08:52:00.001+08:00

But hey.. good to see and hear it again!!

Of Mice & Men/Women

2009-02-18T08:29:00.004+08:00

I have not red the book from which comes this favourite phrase ""The best-laid plans of mice and men/often go awry," "

Just that in the light of the recent happenings,
a. Frog-hoppers
b. Errant SMS with certain pictures
c. Slander
d. Disappointment

I am wondering what has been the fundamental groundings of people who want to live and the people who lead this country?

Are they greedy?
Are they perverted?
Are they crazy?

I just am puzzled why slander? If you're so dissatisfied do something, not at the expense of someone else.

Just because someone does something not contravening with natural law in private that you think you can expose it, you take their pictures and spread it on sms/internet does that make their credibility come under question?

Yes, I speak about Elizabeth Wong, our Bukit Lanjan ADUN. I have not met her personally, but in my reading of emails and news.. I just feel that even if she is single and has a consensual adult relationship.. her privacy was indeed invaded, why then do other ministers consider it grounds for her to step down. especially ministers from the opposite party.

What would happen if their pictures of questionable acts/unwilling acts were put on for show, should they then be terminated from service.

Anyways, give credit where credit is due where there is good work reward them, applaud them, why harp all the time on the bad.
Our oppositions and ruling parties should learn to work together and benefit the people.. they should not be called government servants, but civil servants. without the people where would they be?

Why should ministers be according with such high favours and people treat them with respect/fear that people should accede to their every whim and request.. a civil servant or servant to the public (who is put into a position of power/decision making) should continue to be humble and earn their respect just like anyone of us.

Just because they are called Grandfather this and Grandfather that .. does that mean they have power of life & death over us? We should all strive to live together to earn and give respect as required.

Having said that, from Anwar to Elizabeth to any other public civil servant, your lives are being scrutinised as us Christians have been scrutinised.
For we proclaim righteous principles according to our creeds, hence every evil doer will seek to plot our downfall,
I have a verse to share from the Good Book..
A letter of St Paul to the Ephesians
"Be very careful then how you live, not as unwise but as wise , making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil"

As we entrust every leader in this country with our well-being, safety & security, we pray and hope that their lives will continue to be outstanding and upstanding.

Our prayers are with you, Dear Leaders of Malaysia, for your position of power/responsibility did not come just by mere men, but appointed by God Almighty Himself.

He is ever-Willing but is my faith?, My Journal Entry for 14th February 2009 & Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T09:36:00.002+08:00

Valentine's Day is here.. how am I celebrating it.. of course with my wife.. but not in the way people usually would.

Well let's begin with what happened this morning.
I woke up at 5am this morning.. and went back to sleep..
The 2nd time I woke up, I awoke with a start at 530am, because a phone call came in. "Where's the key.. what's the combination?".. Yes I completely forgot that I was due to replace Steven (Head of Crew) for JOurnaling Duty this morning. And I had the keys to the amplifier room. No one else had it :0

HORROR of HORRORS as Pr Daniel would say..
I whisked my keys, didn't comb my hair (oppss. WHAT HAIR!?!?!) , didn't brush my teeth.. and was still in my shorts and tees.. drove from BU4 to DC.. It took me 7 minutes .. with Traffic lights.. but I didn't really speed anyway.

But when I reached church with the keys to the amp room, ppl told me that Melvin had already come and started up everything. Thank God for that..

Anyways.. Emily and I are at home right now.. preparing to spend Valentine's day today.. teaching kids.. World Teach's Material : Walk Through The Old Testament... at Dream Centre. So we're leaving in about 2 hours time :P

Here's the journaling I just wrote... I didn't write in Church because I was too flustered about the whole morning incident.

Scripture
Matt 8:1-17 .Verse 10
When Jesus had heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him “ I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith”

Observation
Jesus was ASTONISHED! How can the King of Kings be surprised?
But that the Centurion, who didn’t acknowledge Jesus as Christ, knew the position of power that Jesus came from and the realm of His influence (as he drew from his own experience).
Truly it is because of the faith the Centurion had and the “revelation” that he had of Jesus’ authority.
He knew that because his men followed instructions because they were under his command, so he drew the analogy that part of Jesus’ realm of influence was healing and deliverance, he knew that Jesus could do what he said he would do.

Application

Would we ever astonish Jesus? But since we are in Jesus, He in turns will astonish me when I have faith and see that it will come to pass because He wills it. Earlier Jesus said “I am willing”. Jesus is actually ever-willing for His power to be displayed on earth. His power to astonish us, to show to us He is king, but most of all that He is our savior

Response

Lord I pray for faith to rise up and swell up within me. That many will be astonished (including myself) to the wonders You display. Let me be a conduit of your love and in faith believe for the salvation of many. Yes .. ONE THING IS IMPORTANT… CHOOSE TO BE WITH YOU! Amen.

A Video for the Day (for DW)

2009-02-13T10:37:00.001+08:00

hehehhe.. *tease*

Dead Man's Rope

A million footsteps, this left foot drags behind my right
But I keep walking, from daybreak 'til the falling night
And as days turn into weeks and years
And years turn into lifetimes
I just keep walking, like I've been walking for a thousand years

Walk away in emptiness, walk away in sorrow,
Walk away from yesterday, walk away tomorrow,

If you're walking to escape, to escape from your affliction
You'd be walking in a great circle, a circle of addiction
Did you ever wonder what you'd been carrying since the world was black?
You see yourself in a looking glass with a tombstone on your back

Walk away in emptiness, walk away in sorrow,
Walk away from yesterday, walk away tomorrow,
Walk away in anger, walk away in pain
Walk away from life itself, walk into the rain

All this wandering has led me to this place
Inside the well of my memory, sweet rain of forgiveness
I'm just hanging here in space

Now I'm suspended between my darkest fears and dearest hope
Yes I've been walking, now I'm hanging from a dead man's rope
With Hell below me, and Heaven in the sky above
I've been walking, I've been walking away from Jesus' love

Walk away in emptiness, walk away in sorrow,
Walk away from yesterday, walk away tomorrow,
Walk away in anger, walk away in pain
Walk away from life itself, walk into the rain

All this wandering has led me to this place
Inside the well of my memory, sweet rain of forgiveness
I'm just hanging here in space

The shadows fall
Around my bed
When the hand of an angel,
The hand of an angel is reaching down above my head

All this wandering has led me to this place
Inside the well of my memory, sweet rain of forgiveness
Now I'm walking in his grace
I'm walking in his footsteps
Walking in his footsteps,
Walking in his footsteps

All the days of my life I will walk with you
All the days of my life I will talk with you
All the days of my life I will share with you
All the days of my life I will bear with you

Walk away from emptiness, walk away from sorrow,
Walk away from yesterday, walk away tomorrow,
Walk away from anger, walk away from pain
Walk away from anguish, walk into the rain.

A White Flag... Surrender .. Leading To Purity.. :)

2009-02-13T09:20:00.002+08:00

A sharing from Purpose Driven Life..

Surrender Is the Heart of Worship
by Rick Warren

“Give yourselves to God ... surrender your whole being to him to be used for righteous purposes.” Romans 6:13 (TEV)

*** *** *** ***

The heart of worship is surrender.

Surrender is an unpopular word, disliked almost as much as the word submission. It implies losing, and no one wants to be a loser.

Surrender evokes the unpleasant images of admitting defeat in battle, forfeiting a game, or yielding to a stronger opponent. The word is almost always used in a negative context. Captured criminals surrender to the authorities.

In our competitive world we’re taught to never quit trying, never give up, and never give in – so we don’t hear much about surrendering. If winning is everything, surrendering is unthinkable.

Yet, the Bible teaches us that rather than trying to win, succeed, overcome, and conquer, we should instead yield, submit, obey, and surrender.

And by surrendering to God, we enter into the heart of worship. This is true worship: bringing pleasure to God as we give ourselves completely to him.

Surrendering is best demonstrated in obedience, cooperating with your Creator. You say “Yes, Lord” to whatever he asks of you.

In fact, “No, Lord” is a contradiction. You can’t claim Jesus as your Lord when you refuse to obey him. Peter modeled surrender when, after a night of failed fishing, Jesus told him to try again: “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”Surrendered people obey God’s word, even when it doesn’t make sense.

God is not a cruel slave driver or a bully who uses brute force to coerce us into submission. He doesn’t try to break our will, but woos us to himself, so that we might offer it freely to him. God is a lover and a liberator, and surrendering brings freedom, not bondage.

When we completely surrender ourselves to Jesus, we discover that he is not a tyrant but a savior; not a boss, but a brother; not a dictator, but a friend.

Watch Out for Yourself, Stick Close to Him : Journaling Entry 13th Feb 2009

2009-02-13T07:32:00.004+08:00

Scripture
Matt 7:15-29 . Verse 15
Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.

Observation
In this day and age where the availability of the internet and connectivity and mobility, we can see that increasingly that more & more people are becoming “pastors”, “prophets”, “apostles”.
It’s (Internet & Connectivity)availability & ease of use makes becoming a leader is so easy that they control people (spread the word) and making audacious claims about God.
How in this generation are people protecting themselves, educating themselves when “freedom” of perspective is abused? Guided by one’s own belief without a pure relationship with God.
Much can be said about this topic, because “to each his own” is a phrase used too often in the “religious” circles. Making us less caring towards one another.

Application
In my journey as a cell leader, husband, business owner. I have to be watchful, walk close to God. Not allow myself to be full with “knowledge”, pride or self righteousness. Not unwittingly become a false prophet.
I need to walk this journey with my cell members, my fellow leaders, my wife and keep a safe boundary between different persons so that my heart is guarded. Surround ourselves with Godly counsel and stick close to God.

Response
Lord I pray that today, my heart be renewed and reconfigured to do what I planned to do in Your holy and perfect will. Speak each day in Your word to me to guide me to what’s BEST that You have for me so that I may not be swayed nor fall into temptation. Bring the people that are right into my own life. Where there be “wolves in sheep clothing” may I bring your presence so that they can be turned into “sheep who know your voice” May their realization for the need of You be concluded in their life. Give me wisdom to share with them in Love.

Cell Groups

2009-02-12T16:28:00.001+08:00

As my fren Jules suggested.. :P I checked out this youtube entry..
aiyo.. hehehehe Enjoy

My Motivation : Journal Entry 11th Feb 2009

2009-02-11T09:39:00.002+08:00

My church DUMC (Dream Centre) has embarked on a journey to encourage it's members to Journal on a daily basis. As leader's we've started since January 1st 2009, I have my entries here and there. But as of today... I've decided to write it into Word. So I've become more verbose.. instead of writing with paper and pen ( I have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome that makes it hard to write)

here's my entry for Today. I'll try to upload as I go along.. take care

My Motivation, 11th February 2009

SCRIPTURE
Matt 6: 1:24 : Verse 6, 7
But when you pray go into your room, close the door and pray that your Father who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret will reward you.
And when you pray, do not keep babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.

OBSERVATION
Jesus speaks in the whole chapter about
Giving, Prayer, Fasting & Rewards (Treasures in Heaven)
He speaks to us about all these things in succession. But in the first 3 segments deals with our conscience/motivation in what we do. Giving, Prayer & Fasting. All 3 sections speaks about receiving rewards. And these rewards are received in relationship with Christ.
The result of this relationship will be a great reward in Heaven, it is built upon the motivation of our BEING. Not the DOING of the 3 actions which can be outwardly seen.

APPLICATION
When I see this in my life and the life of others, I am reminded about being too verbose in my prayers to those around. I am reminded to pray accurately so that the recipient of the prayer, will catch on to the promises in their life.
In Giving, I must be recognize my motivation to give is not for my glory, but to bless and that my heart to be soft. Hence if people see it and praise me, it is for my glory. If they can see this as an outpouring of my own life (submitted to Christ), all the Glory is His. My choice to share this with people, must be a selected group of people who are mature enough to recognize the sharing
The same goes for fasting, it may not be apparent that I am fasting, that it must be life changing and transforming to me. That the Lord and I are connected more closely in our relationship.
My reward is not something to be EARNED, but to be received because of my relationship I have with my heavenly Father.

RESPONSE
Dear Lord,
Thank you for being my Father. That you know the importance of growing deep in you. Teach me each day to surrender my life and receive because You give freely. Let my motivation in my life to be a building experience for me first, because A pure & repentant heart is what you desire of me. Let my motivation be only to please you and not people.
Let my motivation to please you build my life to impact others. Thank you Lord.

THe Call Of Moses. Funny

2009-02-06T18:46:00.000+08:00

Christianese... Ever Heard of It?

2009-02-06T12:24:00.001+08:00

LOL

Blessings..

2009-02-02T10:09:00.002+08:00

I read this particular article, when I accidentally clicked the subscription in my email.. and I think it's very apt in times like this (i.e. the Credit Crunch) to gain perspective..

Why Does God Appear to Bless Evil People?
by Rick Warren

He causes the sun to rise on good people and on evil people, and he sends rain to those who do right and to those who do wrong. Matthew 5:45 (NCV)

*** *** *** ***

A common question among believers is, “Why does God appear to bless evil people?” I’ve asked this question myself.

In Matthew 5, Jesus says God causes his blessing to be given to both the evil person and the good person – and that both those who are evil and those who are good go through difficulties. Whether someone is a believer or unbeliever, evil or good, we all face sickness in our families, natural disasters, and all sorts of other problems.

God doesn’t always protect believers from having to face the same difficulties that unbelievers must face; and he allows unbelievers to experience some of the same benefits that we, as believers, enjoy because we are a part of his creation. One reason for this: it allows those who don’t know Jesus to see what it really means to know him. When someone sees a believer finding even a bit of light in the middle of a struggle, it helps those who do believe in Jesus to see who he really is and that he is the light in the darkness.
*****************************************************

What's Blessing good and evil ppl got to do with the current credit crunch you may ask?

what's a Credit Crunch in the first place.. well.. I am no economist, so I read also what a friend of mine wrote on his blog

And I got a small picture of it..
a. Ppl borrowed money from Banks
b. Ppl can't pay back the loans and close shop
c. Banks can't collect and reclaim property that's worth less than the money loaned out
d. This creates a deficit of money in the market, i.e. banks can't loan out anymore money..

So God makes blessings fall on good and evil ppl at the same time. The difference.. as I see it..
a. Good ppl "should" know how to save on blessings received and re-invest correctly, and hopefully make wise decisions..
b. Evil ppl abuse this blessing and investment in corruption.

Hence.. since the "world" is leaning towards the evil these days, so more and more ppl are overspending uncontrolably and causing even Good ppl to suffer.

Our choice today is, how do we live? Do we whinge and complain about what evil ppl are doing? or learn and be wise in these times..

Just my 2sen worth of sharing..

Puzzling...

2009-01-13T14:12:00.001+08:00

Why is a Nissan Sunny built in 1993 worth more than a proton iswara built in 2000?

I was just skimming thru motortrader.com.my just to have a look at cars.. yes... eye-candy.. and.. discovered.. that and old nissan sunny is still better than a proton. WHY WHY WHY!.. heheheh

What to Write About?

2009-01-10T15:26:00.003+08:00

Well it's the new year.. what's there to write about?

Well so many things have happened.. but dare I say that they were interesting enough for your reading pleasure? oh well here goies

We got sick..
Yeah Em I were sick during December.. the flu struck.. I guess we were both tired from all the festivities of Caroling, Christmas Rally, Children's Christmas party and my company dinner,

But thankfully.. I got better, and Em took a bit longer.. she had the cough until nearly new year.. She bought some "sea coconut" drink and that did the trick for her. For me it was the Cap Ibu Dan Anak.. :) REgular doses... helped clear the FLAM.. .. no no.. it's PHLEGM!.. yeah the green and yellow stuff. hehehehe

Anyways..

Vineyard officially started this week on Tuesday 6th of January with our students. To date we have about 7 kids.. ages from 6 all the way to 16.. :p

Well we pray God will continue to expand and grow this ministry-cum-business of ours. We pray that GOd will use us, especially Em to "Touch Hearts & Change Lives" of the children and the parents.

What's amazing is the people start trusting us even when they've only heard of us for a short while. I guess people are desperate to help their children. We believe God's gonna do a good work in these children.

We pray that we will remain faithful to this calling. Pray with us too...

Last week I got news about my cousin Jo-jo.. (Josephine) who's now in Australia.. She was involved in a car accident. Her car took a couple of turns.. the wrong way.. i.e. flipped. She was found upside down, but thank God for seatbelts. SHe only sustained bruises and possibly a minor collar bone fracture.

Tonight we're going to her dad's place ( my uncle Lawrence) and they've asked us to pray for her and family over the phone.. Yeah long distance prayer over the phone to Australia and pray with the family.

I thank God for the opportunity to pray for her and her family.

Some pictures of the car

When You Wish Upon A Star

2008-12-19T13:30:00.002+08:00

My Company Dinner is on tonite.. here's some pictures of the setup that's taking place.. I'm gonna setup the PA later..

Blast From The Past.. oh how i wish ..

2008-12-05T15:11:00.003+08:00

I wish I looked like that.. heheheheh
if i can ever go back to that weight.. i'd be VERY VERY happy..

Working on it..

In the picture is Kev, Me, Kenny & Hotim...
we were in Jeff's place.. in Kev's & Kenny's room.. many memories..

PauLOS

Leadership & Responsibilities

2008-12-04T15:35:00.004+08:00

I was just having a chit chat with a couple of friends today over lunch (If you're reading this.. don't worry I won't reveal names or circumstances)

I was just reflecting on the stages of life I've been in leadership and looking forward to my leaders ahead of me, and wonder.. what does the future hold for me, based on the decisions I make today...

Names and Numbers have been fictionally created.. to give a timeline to things

It is such a wonder that when we start working we don't know zilch on leadership
Once we've had 1-2 years, we're scared to take on leadership
Once we've had 3-5 years, we aspire to leadership
Probably after the 5th year, we are in leadership and are learning the ropes and begin to think we know all there is to leadership, building it each day .. and finding that "Hey's it's not that bad, in fact.. it's quite fun.. nice to take a power trip or 2 everyday"
After 10 years of it, you begin to start, "living leadership" and you start to have your own Vision, Mission, Belief System and think it's FANTASTIC
After 15 years.. you think you know it all and everyone else knows Zilch, and you can't stand correction.

I am in the opinion that, we should never stop learning and be willing to "eat humble pie" and not pride ourselves in our achievements, the "Babels" we've built, peoples behaviours we THINK understand.. but to still lead people to achieve their fullest potential of how God has equipped them.

Our responsibilities as leaders is not to bang them into shape, but allow God to mould them into shape. As leaders our responsibility is to nurture the gift and prune when necessary.. not to forcefully "bonsai" the vine or tree that is growing.

I find that in my reflection I too am guilty of taking "Power trips" each time.. I realise as knowledge puffs me up.. I forget about others around me. I forget to humble myself..

It ain't easy when we THINK we know how to GROW people when it's actually God that grows them, we just come along and put "fertilizer" ;>
...... some good ones, some 'raw' ones, some bad ones into each other's life..

How do we take each others' "fertilizer" and make it grow? It may smell for awhile.. but hey.. if it helps me grow.. let's embrace the fertilizer.. :) ROFL...

Just my random thoughts for today ..

Evangelism

2008-10-31T17:48:00.002+08:00

I write this out of miffy-ness actually.
But I don't know how to write it without revealing names... :P

I guess, let's just say.. If you were a Christian, a leader, someone u r supposed to look up to, but you're just plain scared and unwilling to change. How'd you ever earn the respect of those put under your charge unless you're willing to share God's love for those whom you profess that your saviour came for?

When even an opportunity comes about, you're looking for ways and reasons to only do it your way without even giving the chance of a lifetime for a person to visit your home, which you are proud to have received from the Lord and to share it with them. This sanctuary, this place of refuge.

Such, opportunities don't come so easily when others struggle to share the love of Christ.

Such a waste!

I'm disappointed. GRRR!

see yaz

The Rock

2008-10-21T12:25:00.003+08:00

Been toying with an idea to write a play about The Rock...

Yeah.. it's all about slamdunking, ppl's elbow, bhrama bull, the most electrifying move etc etc..
No-lah

Just a thought writing about a character called Batumalai, or short "Batu" who's an impulsive, outspoken, foolish & brash kinda leader. And how he and his 12 koncho's changed when their esteemed leader left them.

Set in the streets of Chow Kit, and his transformation to be a fantastic leader of all times.

But I can'seem to write the details of it...

We'll see how it goes.. Ciaoz

What It's Like In The Morning.. for me..

2008-10-10T16:33:00.004+08:00

The Vineyard

2008-08-25T15:57:00.003+08:00

Just to update my dear friends and family plus erhem.. potential clients

Emily & I have been praying through and wanting to hear from God about what plans He has for us as a married couple.

Over the past 6 months of marriage, we've enjoyed every moment. Of course it's got it's moments, but each moment helps us to know that there is a bigger plan ahead of us.

We've been listening to what God wants to do in us. And He said "Go ye and build an ark".. .. hehhe no lah.. been watching Evan Almighty a week ago.

But He has been speaking to us about melding her passion with a vision statement God gave me 5 years ago.

God spoke to Emily many years ago that she would work with children.. her response "I'll kill them"
For me, from a young age.. I said.. I don't like children.. yet when God gave me the vision statement it sounded like this "To build strong God-fearing families, who are unafraid to share their love to each other"

It all seems so ridiculous, but God's got a fantastic sense of humour.

Emily has been working with children who are slow-learners, ADD, ADHD, mild autism dyslexia, etc etc.for over 3 years now. And she feels that God has spoken to her that it's time to move on. Along with the mass amount of time she spends on the road driving from home to her workplace.
It is indeed time, and God paved the way, because just after we got married, we saw an opportunity for her to be equipped in teaching children with such special needs.

She is currently pursuing a diploma in Learning Disorders Management. And by the time she graduates it will be next year and due time to start putting these things into place.

The Lord's timing is good and wonderful.

So we're starting to do up our current rented house, starting with the dining room. It will still be the dining area, but with a touch of change to aid children in their learning. We hope to create a conducive one-to-one learning environment to equip children with tools to help them overcome their struggles in learning.

So do pray with us as we want to see children grow and maximize their potentials. Moving further than just equipping children we want to equip teachers and parents alike so that more and more children can be ministered to.

It seems like a huge thing to assume that we would be successful till we can have more teachers to move along with this endeavour, but nothing big today started off without having a vision for the future. But it still has to start small and start somewhere. This will be a new beginning for Emily and for me.

Who knows in 3 years time WHEN this place is successful, I will come over as a teacher as well.

We're calling this place The Vineyard as found in John 15. we would like to see that as the child grows, things that need to be pruned are pruned, things that are bad will be curbed and growth is encouraged.
We do not want the place to just be a place where we plant a seed and hope it grows, but to keep on building the children, building parents, building teachers. We hope that parents will also take an active role in enforcing things that are learnt at school our place.

so in short.. it is a huge task. Please pray.. The Lord Bless you my friends, partners in Christ.

Most Common Question Asked Of Newly Weds

2008-04-06T21:21:00.002+08:00

Q1. So how's married life?

How else should it be different? Well,

1. "I don't have to send her back after a nice date anymore"
2. "I have a new roomate"
3. "I don't worry about getting shot anymore if it's past curfew time"
4. "It still feels like we're dating"
5. "I have to wait in line to go to the toilet"
6. "It's nice to have someone to come home and talk to"
7. "I've caught a glimpse of what Adam and Eve might have felt like at the beginning of time"
8. "We get to play 'real masak-masak' together"
9. "My room's tidier these days"
10. "I look forward to going home"

So... i think i've answered the question :D

hehhehe

I got Married!!!!

2008-03-11T17:44:00.002+08:00

Tell you all more about what happened.. but a picture is worth a MILLION WORDS!!

Go on over to
http://us.atelierventures.com/webtoolz/article-508.html

and for more pictures at
http://www.atelierventures.com/images/portfolio/photography/grace_tan/weddings/2008-Paul+Emily/index.html

And FOR ALL THE PICTURES!!!!

http://www.atelierventures.com/proofs/v/weddings/paul_emily/

Enjoy urselves.

Oh.. By The Way.. .I'm Getting Married

2008-01-30T16:17:00.000+08:00

Yeah... i mean.. i think a lot of people know about it already.. but just to formalize it on my blog.. I'm getting married. For those who didn't know.. I got engaged.. with a semi-formal proposal last year on Feb 1, now 1 year down the road, we're gonna get married. Emily and I..

2nd of march 2008, for those who have been invited.. do come.. for those whom i don't know or forgotten. hehehe sorry lah.. :P

Cheerioz.. soon I'll be Mr Paul Sebastian.. .. wait.. I've always been that.. oh well.. my name won't change.. but my life surely will..

I pray God will sustain me, and take me greater glories. AMEN!

When It's Time To Go

2007-11-28T10:15:00.000+08:00

I was just wondering about full time ministry.. yeah.. talking about working for Church..

How do we treat pastors, church workers who are leaving the "service"?

Be it for valid reasons, unreasonable, frustrations, disagreements?
Do we view them differently? Do we think that once someone joins "full time ministry" they are set for life?
Is there a stigma associated with their life? or the suspicious & inquisitive questions like; "Did he/she have a disagreement with senior pastor?" "Why leave when Church work is serving God, there should not be any discontentment.. after all you're serving God right?" "Maybe church is not paying enough salary"

There's so many things to think about and it's consequences...
Do we even treat working in Church as if we were working outside.

Believe me, work in Church is taxing & even more taxing than working outside. It's because it's like an organisation like no other. The church, serves for the benefit of it's non-believers/members..
The thrust of the Church is to reach out to the needy and share practical love and the good news to them, that there is hope for a hopeless world and situations.

As church members, we feel we should be privileged to gain certain perks in church, but I am constantly being reminded that my focus is meant to be outward not inward.
Whatever we do we serve the body of Christ... the church.. the people of God.. which means everyone, believers and non-believers alike..

So, when a person intends to work for a church, I believe that this is the thrust of their life, and has to have a clear calling and direction from the Lord. And if/when the time to leave comes, it must be a clear calling and timing from God.
Whether the feeling is good or not good (because of what people may say).. there must be a peace and confirmation from God...

Hence, my advice from anyone considering full time work.. seek God first.. His pleasure is our ultimate treasure..

When You Wish Upon A (Shooting) Star....

2007-11-27T09:22:00.000+08:00

Watch this and you might think again about wishing upon a star.. ROFL

Best of Friends!!

2007-11-22T15:23:00.001+08:00

To All My Friends Out There.. A Picture to Share and Appreciate You. :D

Am selling of my Baby.....

2007-11-13T10:58:00.000+08:00

IBANEZ...

Yes, I'm selling off my baby Ibanez guitar on Lelong.com.my. for the next 5 days it will be auctioned.. If any of you are interested please let me know..

I just noticed that there's so much competition these days especially from cheaply made guitars from China.
The quality of guitars from China have dropped, I must say.. Unlike how they made them before. I tried a friend's guitar, (Ollie) .. it comes with pickup and all, but I am sad to say.. I really don't like the sound..

I am gonna miss Baby... or Ibby.. (short for Ibanez Baby)
It's a small sized guitar.. Bought it a long time ago.. about 3-4 years when I was fascinated with the small guitar size, sound and carry around flexibility. But a friend told me, it looks like a toy on me because of my size.. so I guess, it's really good for smaller sized ppl and kids.

I brought this guitar with me to Cambodia on my mission, so it actually carries memories with it. I had thought about leaving that guitar in Cambodia for the Church there.. but became stingy at the last minute.. hahaha..

Here are some pictures of Ibby...A comparison in size, Yamaha (Full Size) next to Ibanez (Baby)

View of the neck.. i.e. it's straight and has good string action.

The headstock.. :P

Update 15/11/07 : As of now .. only 136 Views and no bidders.. :(.. means no buyers..

Independence & Freedom.. 50 Years

2007-09-06T15:43:00.002+08:00

*I completely forgot about posting this post.. it's been a draft for a very long time.. even if it may be outdated.. i thought I should just post it anyway! *

I've not been updating or reading many blogs in the past 4 weeks. Lo & Behold, it's come and gone and I've not been able to pen what my thoughts and feelings have been... Allow me to list out what's been happening.

13th August - 2nd September - DUMC (the church I call Home), conducted it's 21 day of Fast & Prayer, 530am every morning. The mainstream was to align our hearts and lives to God's for the nation, Praying for the country, taking ownership of the Lord for our country and proclaiming Jubillee for this country.
27th August - 2nd September - Moving DUMC Seapark (DSP) to Dream Centre in Section 13 PJ

26th August - Jubillee Conference by Peter Tsukahira, David Davis etc..

It's been a hectic 4 weeks, running in and out of church, and going on a complete vegetarian diet, even to scrutinizing if there was eggs in the kaya (coconut paste)

It was hard trying to find food firstly, it was easy going off meat, but I think now I'm paying for it.. had a gout attack on my elbow last nite. Must be from the lack of chicken... ;) .. nooo... I've been more tofu than I usually do.

Well, as I puttered around morning prayers, serving in Dew Crew & Worship ministry, God spoke to me primarily in a few areas

1. Cynicism and Sarcasm
2. Gaining a bigger picture for my country about it's REVIVAL.
3. Recognising God's work throughout all generations and where it's at right now

I asked myself, where am I in all this? Where is God placing me? Why right now?

50 years.. yeah.. why so significant for the whole country?
When Pastor Daniel preached about Jubillee followed by Peter T, it all became clear..

50 years is not just a pagan, nor a worldwide celebrative number.. but a year of Jubillee.. a proclaimation, of FREEDOM, LIBERTY, RESTORATION, HOPE, PEACE etc

A Table of Remembrance, Introspection, Outward Action & Futuristic Hope

2007-08-07T18:05:00.000+08:00

I subscribe to Grace@Work Mail... and I've always wanted to capture the significance of the Lord's Supper into words and this brother at Grace@Work has put it down so aptly.
It may not fall in line with the few Catholic readers of my blog, but you can choose to ignore that part that does not promote the Eucharist as Catholics believe, yet the substance of this momentous, life changing, meaning of this meal is so hard to ignore. Read On!

GRACE@WORK MAIL 31/07
[August 3, 2007 Edition]

For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on
the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it
and said, "This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me." In
the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new
covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me." For
whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death
until he comes.
(1 Corinthians 11:23-26 TNIV)


Commentary: At the Table

I haven't had the privilege of leading in a Holy Communion service for a long
time. If all goes according to plan, I will have the opportunity to do so this
Sunday. And if I do I will try to prepare the congregation to take the elements
by my usual exhortation on "the six directions of the Lord's Supper."

The first direction of the Lord's Supper is the backward direction. At the table
we look backward in time and remember that Jesus came and died for us. We
remember the historical basis of our faith. As we put the bread and the wine
into our mouths, we remember that the Christian faith is not wishful thinking.
It is real. It is based on things that really happened. We remember that God
loved us enough to come and die for us so that He could give us life. (Luke
22:19)

The second direction of the Lord's Supper is the forward direction. I remember
Jesus' promise that one day we will celebrate the Supper in His very presence at
the end of time, when His programme to renew creation is finally completed. As I
look at the pain and evil in the world (and this Sunday I will be thinking of my
brothers and sisters who are hostages of the Taleban) I remember that it will
not always be like this. One day, Jesus will return and heaven and earth will be
one. And we will be joining in the celebratory feast in heaven. I find fresh
energy to press on. (Mark 14:25)

The third direction of the Lord's Supper is what I call the "look around"
direction. As I come to the Lord's table, I remember that I do not come alone.
The Lord's Supper is a family meal. As I take it, I remember that I belong to
the community of believers. I remember the corporate nature of the Christian
faith. Indeed I remember Paul's warning that if I take the Lord's Supper and I
am responsible for disunity in the church, I am opening myself up for serious
divine spiritual discipline. (1Corinthians 11:27-34)

The fourth direction of the Lord's Supper is the outward direction. As I take
the elements my heart is burdened by the fact that many are not yet at the
table. I think of the many who have yet to receive the offer of  life that Jesus
proffers. I also remember that evangelism is not just confronting people with
the cold rational truths of the faith. It is inviting people to a meal, to the
feast of life that Jesus offers. (1Corinthians 11:26)

The fifth direction of the Lord Supper is the upward direction. I come to the
table realising afresh my need for God and His grace. This week in particular I
am really tired. I have just returned to Singapore after a full week of ministry
in Malaysia to an exceptionally heavy week of ministry in Singapore. (I am
hoping I can send this piece out in time.) As I come to the table I look up into
the loving eyes of the Lord and remember that He stands waiting to feed me with
His grace. I feast and am refreshed. (John 6:35)

Then there is the inward look. As I come to the Lord's table, I do an audit of
my heart. I confess known sin. I resolve to put right things that need my
attention. I remember the six directions of the Lord's Supper. No, I am not
checking if I am holy enough to take Holy Communion. I fear some cheat
themselves of the grace waiting at the table because they think they are not
worthy of the elements. We will never be worthy enough. We come to the table
precisely because we are not worthy and are in need of His grace. And He stands
ready to receive all who come with humble hearts. (1Corinthians 11:28)

These then are the six directions of the Lord's Supper. I first encountered this
useful reminder of the meaning of the Lord's Supper at a talk given by the Revd
Canon Dr Michael Green many years ago. It has remained with me since because it
is easy to remember and it so powerfully captures the richness of the meaning of
the Lord's Supper.

I fear that too often we rush through the Supper. We do it because it is part of
the liturgy. But our minds are not prepared. And so our hearts are not engaged.
It doesn't help that I am from a believer's church tradition where, in reaction
to Roman Catholic Theology, I was often told that the Lord's Supper was only a
memorial.

Only a memorial? I beg to differ. The Lord's Supper is the commemoration of the
Cross, the central act of God's revelation and God's love. And while I am not
sure that the Lord is in the bread and the wine, I am very sure that the Lord,
in His Spirit, is at His table. And waiting to feed us.

This Sunday I approach the table with joy and gratitude. And have the privilege
to invite my brothers and sisters to join me. I pray that at the Lord's table we
will find fresh grace for our pilgrimage on earth. And fresh resolve to press on
till that day when we will feast with Jesus face to face.

Your brother,
Soo-Inn Tan

No.. I am Not Gloating.. Just Happy

2007-07-26T17:15:00.000+08:00

I'm Just happy that I could beat Annie H at Scrabble. She whooped me a few times before and I consider her a very very very tough Scrabble exponent, Probably because I got good opportunities, and not by my intelligence.. This time I managed to win.. thank you Annie for a great game

Just to prove I am not such a good player.. I 've won only 3 of 8 games I've played.. .. Check it out below.
A little trivia about the best scrabble game ever played The winner won with 830 points and the loser at 490 points.
Imagine.. even with the points in this game I could not beat the loser!!! :P

These Small Hours : Rejoice In Heaven Aunty G

2007-07-26T09:24:00.000+08:00

Our time on earth is noted by "These small hours" we live in each & everyday.

Over the past 2 weeks, my life, my families life were put in a flurry of activities.
Moments (30 minutes) before the "Cilaka Punya Penyamun" incident on 7th June 2007, I sat in my car, receiving news about my Aunty G, that she was diagnosed with late stage gall bladder/liver cancer. My dad delivered the news to me, and I sat in my car, not knowing how to respond. All I could say was, "We continue to believe in God to do a mighty work, we leave it in His hands"

I was stunned at the suddenness of the news. Then I left my car with a flurry of things in my mind, hence forgetting I had left my notebook in the car.. and *BLAM* it got stolen.

Over the next 1 month and a half, we made every effort to visit my Aunt G. I never did get to say many things to her as everyone had something to say to advise her to get better and to take the medication prescribed.

She opted for chemo, and we knew the road ahead would be rough, even though modern chemo today is not as rough as before.

The only brief moment I had with her was about 3 weeks before she passed on, I sat upstairs with her with Emily. We spoke, she did not speak in her moderately strong voice. She spoke weakly, I strained to hear her above the din of children, other conversations and the tamil movie on the TV.

We spoke about our wedding, her experiences (including dirty jokes and her stopping the plane at Heathrow airport) and my cousin's upcoming wedding. It was the only meaningful conversation that I had with her in the past couple of years as her life was dominated by the presence of her grandson.

She did not owe me anything, not her time nor her presence, and rightly so, I was just one of her favourite nephews. She used to ask for me, however due to unpleasant circumstances, I never got to see her much. Yet, I have no regrets, because deep down inside she knows my heart and I knew hers.

She gave me many things to remember her by, how she cared from me from the time I was young and until i started working. She was like a mother to me.

Much can be written about her, but I guess, in short, she was a mother to many.. In her obituary.. her son coined the phrase.. "Ever Loving & Always Giving". She never lacked in her giving and caring for strangers, people in need. And it was indeed shown in the number of people who attended the funeral at St Francis Xavieer Church Petaling Jaya on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

The church was at 70% capacity, and it was amazing, as we sang hymns and went through the funeral rites. My Uncle Lawrence gave the eulogy and my cousins spoke in kind of their mother.

I may or may not write more about her.. but this blog entry has gone long enough..

As I listened to songs, a day or 2 after the funeral.. I found this song to be apt... The time we have is short, and it's useless to squabble over little things, let the bad things slide, forgive, and work at the things that really matter.. the things of the heart.. That's what she would have wanted us to do to as we the family continued to live on.

My dear Aunty G, rejoice in Heaven, I look forward to the day when I see you there one day..

Little Wonders Lyrics
Artist(Band):Rob Thomas

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don’t you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don’t mind
if it’s me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it’s the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
with these small hours, still remain,
they still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain

Getting To Know Me.. Getting To Know More About Me!

2007-07-09T10:54:00.000+08:00

As we grow on in life.. we sometimes take ourselves too seriously and sometimes getting to know the ugly parts about ourselves.. accepting it, resenting it, and turning it around and growing from it..

I think I've found somethings about myself...

1. I am overtly critical about myself
2. I am scared about making mistakes
3. I blame myself very harshly for my wrong decisions and go into bouts of depression
4. I don't like being accussed of things that are false about me

These are a few of my unfavourite things..

What do I do with it?
Pray.. ;) That should be my first and only resource.. to depend on my Maker, who designed me.. and for whatever flaws I've added on into myself, I will ask Him to mend me..

For Paul (the Apostle) says..
There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ
also
Rom 8:14 : Because those led by the Spirit of God are sons of God...

Yes... indeed I claim that inheritance promised to me.. not because I deserve it, but because it is what He gives to me because I am His son.

Guard my mind in Christ Jesus and let nothing move me.

So from the advise of Pr Foo, I'll go dig out my old cassettes and listen to them once more.... Fill my mind and heart with His words and encouragement.

May the Lord bless you dear reader with peace. :D

What Do Men or Women Want/Need?

2007-06-29T15:00:00.000+08:00

*I post this blog entry with fear and trembling..
- because it's a post that is erratic and off the cuff
- has too many holes for misunderstanding because I don't have time to write out everything
- my lack of understanding of the woman psyche
- so please respond in kind giving thought to my lack of knowledge and understanding if there be any*

In response to CC's blog I thought about the fundamental things in a relationship..

What does a man want out of a relationship?
What does a woman want out of a relationship?

It's easy to say.. because we love each other.. but what happens beyond the thrill of love? What carries the "Love" through the seasons.
"What's Love got to do with it? What's love but a second hand emotion?" ~ Tina Turner

Does a man crave relationships because he's lonely? Does a woman crave relationship because she doesn't feel complete?

Yes indeed woman was made from and for man (Biblically speaking), and man has to recognise his position that he will never be complete without a woman.

But doesn't this statement seem to contradict my statement?
Lonely Man vs "Never Be complete without a Woman"
Incomplete Woman vs "Created for man"

Yes all this sounds MCP like, yet how have be been designed. So different psychologically and each uniquely, that we are still drawn to each other.

I think there has been a reversal of roles, and forgotten roles, mainly due to the part of confusion of the Evil one.

A Man
- 1st created
- given authority to lead (name animals and tend to the garden)
- protector and responsible

A Woman
- created from man for him
(It is not good for him to be alone, but that doesn't mean he's lonely, after all a man can play all he wants with his dog, cat, elephant, gazelle, sports car PS2 etc)
- to be a helpmate
- to be protected by the man (not because she's weaker, but because it is his responsibility)

Many jokes have been said
"God told Eve, you got the brains.. but you can't ever tell Adam that I created you first"
or
"God is a woman"
or
"God made a mistake with the first model i.e. Man and therefore he made women 2nd to correct his first mistake"

God does not make mistakes. He fully intentionally did what He did.
Yes it is indeed Adam's fault that he did not stop Eve from eating the forbidden fruit. And both knew the commandments of God.
Do we keep flaunting His rules?

Men & Women need to realise, their roles and responsibilities.
Boys and Girls need to be raised in this environment where Men take up their responsibility and Women do not undermine this responsibility, but assist the man in fulfilling his role.

It when Men have neglected this role, for one reason or another (so many reasons to share), is when a woman rises up to replace this missing man. And over the years it has become a norm and acceptable that a woman would say "I don't need a man" or "I can get by by myself" indeed she has always been capable of it. (Prov 31), yet it was God's design that she help a man accomplish his full potential and in this a woman can also realise her full purpose in her life.

So I believe each man and woman is interdependent on one another, and once that man & woman has found their destiny in God and agree on the details of their destiny in God are for each other, they transition into a place where they work together at that destiny.
Yet on the journey to their destiny, each needs enough space and manure from each other to grow. Otherwise their growth would be stunted. Each has to be far apart yet near enough to allow each other to grow, so that their roots don't choke each other, nor their branches break each other.

*My ramblings.. .*

Cilaka Punya Penyamun...

2007-06-11T15:31:00.000+08:00

Some of you may know my car was broken into and my company notebook was stolen.. To avoid being asked too many questions (and to get more visits from ppl to my blog.. hehehehe.. ) I'm posting an excerpt of my conversation with CC...

CC says:how are ya doing?
PauLOS says: hanging on
CC says: u wanna share what exactly happened?
PauLOS says: right from da beginning?
CC says: hmmm, perhaps can put in faq format - for all frens who come asking
CC says: but yeah, would like to know but understand if u hv answered the questions berkali-kali
PauLOS says:
after work (and Elid Band practise) .. i went to meet Emily & her mom in SS2 to shop for wedding bands,.. i carried my notebook.. bought the wedding bands.. went to the furniture shop bought our furniture.. went back to SS2 wai sek kai.. i still lugged the notebook.. went back to emily's car and my car which was just 10metres away..
PauLOS says:
i gave emily the rings for safe keeping.. and i drove off to church to go get somethings.. as I drove.. i spoke to my mom and dad.. found out my eldest aunt was diagnosed with late stage liver cancer.. then i parked at the inside church compound at the side of church at 1015pm
PauLOS says:
went in got my stuff.. chilled for a while with Crew and MWM inside church.. came out at 1045pm.. found window smashed and computer gone
PauLOS says:
went to police station.. reported and got out at about 12am
PauLOS says: that's abt it
CC says: wah lau, inside church oso ppl come?
CC says: shucks
PauLOS says: yeap
PauLOS says: just when u thought it was safe inside church compound huh?
PauLOS says: hallowed ground..
CC says: exactly
CC says: sheesh
CC says: fixed yr car window d?
CC says: did u inform church office abt this?
PauLOS says: haven't informed church yet
PauLOS says: i was away on the weekend for company trip
PauLOS says: just fixed window just now
CC says: need to beef up security there
CC says: scared if rapists come in n attack the dew crew ppl
PauLOS says: suspect that the perpatrator followed me from SS2
CC says: and saw yr laptop?
CC says: hmmm
PauLOS says: yeah
PauLOS says: as i spoke to Dr Wong. today.. he also said.. he usually leaves his notebook in the car during leader's meeting..
PauLOS says: now.. he won't lah
CC says: yeah, need to be cautious everywhere
CC says: even in church
CC says: u got good rates for fixing yr car window?
PauLOS says: yeah.. i think so RM58 for window RM30 for labour
PauLOS says: i got my power window fixed and central locking fixed too
PauLOS says: all came up to RM240
PauLOS says: didn't want to go around scouting.. just get it done
CC says: yeah..
CC says: do u hv to payback to the co?
PauLOS says: that's what I'm waiting to go and do asap
PauLOS says: knowing this company.. potong gaji to pay back
PauLOS says: *sigh*
PauLOS says: i pray for mercy
CC says: omigosh
CC says: i am praying with ya
PauLOS says: really wanna save up for wedding.. but.. now.. dunno if can or not..
PauLOS says: but i am more sad.. that all the info over 5 years i've collected.. all gone
CC says: no backup?
PauLOS says: it was in my External HDD ..
PauLOS says: which was in my laptop bag also
CC says: :(
PauLOS says: eggs in one basket
CC says: the info is more precious than the laptop
PauLOS says: yeah..
PauLOS says: a lot of work invested.. my sound tech info.. and worship songs and lyrics and chords
PauLOS says: ebil thoughts came to my mind last nite..
PauLOS says: wanna shatter da fellas head like how he shattered da mirror
CC says: don't blame ya
PauLOS says: just geramfied..
CC says: God will avenge ye
CC says: anyone will be hopping mad
PauLOS says: but i ask God to deal with them.. how he'd deal with us.. in the area of sin
CC says: i also ask that the thief be stopped in his tracks before inflicting more sufferings to other victims
PauLOS says: yeah lor
PauLOS says: anyways.. i better go face the inevitable
PauLOS says: face the fact that I might have to pay for the computer
CC says: sigh...
CC says: with depreciation, i hope it won't amount to much
CC says: n that the co will exercise grace
PauLOS says: 2 months old..
CC says: oh no..
PauLOS says: dun think they will think about that..
PauLOS says: just pray lor
PauLOS says: how do you pray in faith in such matters?
PauLOS says: we can say so many things
PauLOS says: God has gone before you
PauLOS says: Faith is being sure of what we hope for & certain of what we don't see
PauLOS says: so i hope for mercy.. and i don't see it being paid for..
PauLOS says: how do you know God's gonna be merciful when the ppl u work for may not be
PauLOS says: when i signed to get the PC.. there was a clause "will indemnify the company of the loss of the product due to negligence"
PauLOS says: a company will be come legalistic
PauLOS says: how .. in turn.. when in the future will i treat my employees or subordinates?
PauLOS says: anyways,. better get going.. see yz
CC says: u hang in there, bro
CC says: it's hard going..
CC says: but i do hope for mercy
PauLOS says: ok ... no decision yet..
PauLOS says: HR manager just wanted the police report..
CC says: that's a good sign!
PauLOS says: and she will then talk to Dr Wong
CC says: so nice of her
PauLOS says: pelik.. Dr Wong asked me to go talk to her
PauLOS says: now she tell me she will talk to him
CC says: at least she didn't ask u to talk to him
CC says: prolly she'll know what are the procedures
CC says: n docs to request from u
PauLOS says: if she did .. i'll tell her i already did
CC says: yalor
CC says: keeping me fingers n eyes crossed for ya, sistah
PauLOS says: jangan.. nanti headache dan mata juling
CC says: awwww
CC says: oklar
CC says: me uncross now
PauLOS says: if fingers are crossed u can't t ype properly either
CC says: ooops
CC says: i meant me toes
PauLOS says: ok. as long as u r not walking
CC says: me sitting
PauLOS says: keekkee
CC says: hmm
CC says: the bad thing abt having a great weekend, is having to work on mon
CC says: dang bleh
PauLOS says: my Gmail chat msg is "Cilaka Punya Penyamun ~ Ala P Ramlee"
PauLOS says: u had a great weekend?
CC says: awww, p. ramlee got a song liddat?
CC says: yuh, the best weekend in a long while
PauLOS says: something from Ali Baba version of it
CC says: when my mom kena, i wanted to sing 'Rats, They Did it again!' ala britney
C says: maybe we should come up with a parody of the song
CC says: n post on our blogs
CC says: like wat u did to my tooth
PauLOS says: hahahha
CC says: poetic therapy
PauLOS says: actually it wasn't a song.. but an ending to part of the song ..
CC says: ah so
PauLOS says: http://www.getalyric.com/mp3/lyrics/songs/p_ramlee-16157/aiya_cik_siti-39470/ya_alibaba-193322/
CC says: Bikin rosaklah ana punya program
CC says: waaah, moden wei

-Tamat-

Where, O Death Is Your Sting?

2007-05-29T17:10:00.000+08:00

You have read, in my blogs.. about deaths & murders.. to date.. it's like this lah

1st February - Funeral of a friend's friend - Died of Old Age
Mid February - PMC Counsellor's Dad - Died of Cancer
Early this year Pastor Ben's Mom - Died of Cancer
19th April - Gwendolene - Died of Cancer
18th May - Peng - Murdered- Asphyxia
25th May - Shahzila's boyfriend - Murdered in a factory

And today, I found out a friend has a potentially life threatening disease, 4th Stage Lung Cancer.

I am not pronouncing death on my friend, but I pray that God will, in His infinite GRACE and MERCY and omniscience and omnipotence, heal her. But not my will but YOUR will be done Lord.

I am wondering what God's saying to me in all this right now. There are many obvious things that can be derived from this.. but is there something specific, and not obvious. I wanna tap into the spiritual realm and hear and see..

Pray with me..

What's to be watchful?

2007-05-24T18:07:00.000+08:00

As I drove back last night, Emily said "Church has to do something about this"

I enquired "Church as in DUMC or the general church of Christ?"

She replied "Both, but more so DUMC."

PS: What do you mean?
Em: Since DUMC is really transitioning and endeavours to move forward and grow, as a church, incidents like this can undermine and strike fear in church members.
PS: Yes, I agree. We have to be circumspect about our response. And know that we need not fear, but grow stronger.

This conversation actually triggered me to think about the previous blog entries. I had wondered why I wrote why I wrote. Emily triggered my thinking. Thank you dear.

As a Church we should pave the wave for a better society. If the society fails.. the church is to be blamed. The church is meant to be a catalyst of change. The people are already there. We need to work together with other churches to bring a change to this nation that's "Going to the dogs" as it were.

People need to know violence is not the way, you have to work, work hard to get what you need. Let us be a people who are like watchmen, soldiers, archers, generals and logistics as we pray and work out in growing the Church of Jesus Christ in Malaysia.

Yesus Kekuatanku, untukmu dan untuk Malaysia!

How then Shall we Live? In Fear or Freedom?

2007-05-24T09:50:00.000+08:00

From the time I first heard about Peng's death, until today, after the Wake. Funeral is on today at 11am, I've had the opportunity to speak different persons.

As a guy, we don't feel much fear about what's been happening. We're generally pissed off and angry at the perpetrator. How dare he do such a thing? Even Peng's brother, as he closed spoke out at the injustice and asked for justice.

As I reflected on this..

All of us seek justice.. All of us want justice.. OUR Way! It's shown very very clearly, that our justice is actually revenge. A life for a life a.. our justice.. or any justice ... is never perfect or reasonable.. pure or righteous..

We pray that justice in God's eyes be done. That as ridiculous as it seems, that this perpetrator will come to Christ and receive the forgiveness & salvation that he/they need so much ..
How can we think of such a thing, when such a precious life is lost? It is only in seeing from Christ's perspective.
Our initial response to anything nothing less than human. Christ is human to, but divine in nature. He has emotions just like us, He understands our pain, and His understanding and response is divine. When His friend Lazarus died, He wept. And He then raised Lazarus back up from death.

You may then ask, why not save Peng? Why let her die? We all die one day, sooner or later. Question is.. have we lived it to the full. From the Eulogies at the wake, we can see she had lived her life to the fullest. Fullest, not to the eyes of the world, but to hearts of the lives she touched. Approximately 200 ppl turned up I believe. Mostly from DUMC. We pray that we brought peace and hope into the situation.

~"God is sovereign", Pastor Alan said.
~"Do we know where we are & where we are going?", Pastor Seng Fei said.
~"She always had a remedy and advice for ailments and problems. ",
~"It was evident she trusted in the Lord for everything",
~"She had problems, and she never showed it, no one would have known", some others shared..

Life is indeed fragile.. some I've talked to kept saying

"The country has gone to the dogs."
"The days are indeed evil."
"I had dreams about her."
"I had trouble sleeping last night. Had to call upon scriptures to help me sleep"

All of these responses are about our human feelings,
But what is the supernatural response?

How then shall we live? ...
"Eph 5:15-16 ~"Be careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise. Making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil"

This is my response to this scripture.
We can indeed say days are evil. They have been evil since the beginning of SIN.
Even with 4 people on earth at that time.. Abel was not safe from his own brother Cane. Murder & jealousy has marred our humanity since the beginning of time.
Should we then live in fear? Should we be scared when someone approaches us?
As Christians, we just need to be careful, but not fear. Careful is, being cautious of our surroundings. Operating in the power of the Holy Spirit, trusting in Him.. Living with no regrets.

This is Pastor Seng Fei's mini-sermon at the wake as summarised by Josh in our PengYaus Blog

"Pr Seng Fei's waking call is that Peng's death reminds us that life is short, and we need to know who our source of life is and that we will be remembered by our deeds - thus we need to be wise about how we live our life. "

I insert my brother LX's sharings here:

"Though there are many incidents such as this, which unfortunately have claimed even close friends and acquaintances of ours, I would encourage us all not to retreat in fear and have our lives controlled by potential evil-doers.

Many people whom I know, have been deeply affected by untoward incidents and have since chosen to live a "safer" life, and decline going out at night, etc...My take on things is to be vigilant, yes, VERY vigilant and not to do silly things such as walk alone in dark alleys, but not to have fear control our lives.

Imagine if Peng had been fearful every night of her life and not helped out at Punctuations, what a loss it would have been for the Kingdom.

For God has not given us a spirit of cowardice, but of power, and of love, and of wise discretion.(2 Tim 1:7 - Darby Bible Translation)

I believe she led her life to the full, and God undoubtedly was in control, even in the bad times. We may never understand it as a human, but one day, we can quiz God about all things."

Be vigilant & intentional about what we do, but do not ever live in fear. His Spirit in us releases from fear.

My God is so BIG, So Mighty and so powerful.. There's nothing my God cannot do. Live it! Live it to the Fullest!

Don't stop what we do in the Lord and in fellowship, but be vigilant. You can employ some safety measures that helps, like CC's SMS Buddy .

It's true all man-made measures have always got failure rates

Bodyguards,
Pepper Spray
Martial Arts
Living in Gated Communities

Nothing is fool-proof.. Man in his twisted ingenuity can figure out ways to fool a system.

Can you really trust your bodyguards?
Pepper Sprays have expiry dates
Martial Arts? Have you heard of muscle cramps & trembling in fear?
Living in Gated Communities? Can you trust your neighbours or even the guards. A lot of guards practice the Palm Wave Access Control Recognition Technology. I should know I have seen it being "effectively" practised. 0% Technology required

But ONLY salvation in Jesus is fool-proof!
He seemed to be a king of fools to die for sinners such as us, but it was done out of love for us..

The song "Lovefool" suddenly comes to mind.. . groovy bassline.. *but .. I Digress*

I think that's all for now.. this blog entry is getting too long.. I hope you get my drift.
He came to give us life.. life to the fullest... to live in freedom and in power not fear, bondage and weakness.. Blessings!!

Suddenly...

2007-05-22T15:17:00.001+08:00

Amidst all the fun posts, there's always a Sudden break in it these days.. Life is tough..
This sudden occurence is about my friend's passing away.. or shall I be forthright with it, murdered.

Yes my friend from DUMC was murdered according to some early sources (update it seems she wasn't, but due to being tied up etc, she suffocated/asphyxia). I didn't know her to a depth that I would say we were close friends, but we were always cordial to each other in church. Lovena, Lowena or Peng as most of us called her, was not taken back to Heaven, nor called back to the Lord, instead she was forced to her departure from planet earth.

*italics updated due to latest news*

Her life was taken from her un-intentionally by someone, whom the police have yet to ascertain or as to what manner. She was found tied up and already decomposing. The last anyone saw of her was on Friday night, her body was found only on Monday Night or so. We pray and hope that this outrageous act will be laid clear and bare and that the perpetrator will be brought to justice. Apparently it was theft/burglary and she suffocated due to prolonged bondage or something to that matter of fact.

I am still in a state of shock. How do you pray? How do you comfort? We can only rely on God's strength. May God give all of us peace. We hope that in the last moments of her life, she did not curse nor fault God for this, but continued to have the eternal hope and trust in Him, that she now rests with the Father.

Peng has been a faithful servant in church, always bubbly and cheerful. She served specifically in the Make Up Artist area for most if not all our Punctuation Production. Taking time and pains to travel from work in KL to PJ to do our make up and then back to Ampang late at night to her apartment. Many times sacrificing hours and money (for taxi & make up equipment) for our production.

I will miss her, for the many times as she put make up on my face, she'd suddenly speak in Cantonese to me, forgetting that I didn't understand much Cantonese. She'd then slap her forehead, forgetting that I wasn't able to understand her, and then laugh out loud at her mistake.

May the Lord bless us all with peace and comfort. Rest in Peace my dear sister Peng.. We'll miss your bubbliness and simply say it as it is attitude.

You can read more details at my friend's Joshua's website and also CC's website

Fast & Furious : The Gangsta

2007-05-19T11:13:00.000+08:00

This is a picture of me at the Go-Kart Track at Eagle Ranch PD.

Picture Credits.. Debbie Ng... thank you!
Her b'day present for me :D

Dew Crew Retreat 30/4 till 2/5 : Session 2 : Like Mindedness & Humility

2007-05-10T18:57:00.000+08:00

The 2nd Installation .. as shared by Pastor Mike..

*Church joke.. Please PASS THE MIKE TO PASTOR MIKE* ~pass the sounds like Pastor

heh heh!

Session 2 - Like Mindedness & Humility

Phillipians 2:1-11
Starts with 4 "If's" then "Make my joy complete."

**Phil 4:2
Who were the Phillipians? - PERHAPS the issue was about very good christians
, mature,
asking them to work with each other**

3 Ifs of the 4 were about
- Encouragement from Christ
- Comfort from His Love
- Fellowship with His Spirit

Can all be true even if you live your life out in isolation.
We can all be Christians on our own, walk with him, etc etc

"THEN make my joy complete by being like-minded.." ??!?!?! :P
It is suggesting that there's some incompleteness.
He's saying our Christianity cannot be complete in isolation.
You can't be like minded unless there's more than 1 person.
There's something about being with other believers.
Fellowship is not just about eating.
Church celebration is structured for worship together.. but not fellowship.
We could all have our personal relationship with Christ and not have relationship with anyone else.
BUT There is something that lacks.

Being Like Minded - same love, spirit and purpose.

Our relationship with Christ is completed thru our fellowship with one another.
Question to ask ourselves why is there marriage on earth but none in Heaven?
Our experience on earth is made more complete or obvious to us in Marriage.
Marriage - extreme form of relationship/fellowship
Fellowship is a partnership.

Growing in God - can be explained by quiet time, praying & serving.
But it is thru fellowship, when the clashing of minds, living & working together, that's where our experience with God is filled out & deepened.
It is an integral part of our growth.

On your own seems fine but together there will be squabbles.

So, why does Paul talk about humility here?
- perhaps humility is like a lubricant to our relationships, as arrogance is a irritation/catalyst to our relationships
- "look not only to your own interest but to the interest of others.
"

- "If we don't have this we don't really love one another."

v3 "Consider others better than urselves"
- that does not have to be a problem
- sometimes ppl demean themselves via humility but that is not humility. To do that is to deny who you are.
- humilty is recognising who you are & what you have & where it comes from.

v4 "look to the interest of others"
- consider them to be worthy of ur consideration
- 99% of the time for our own interest.
- the part is not helpful is when we look to our own interest EXCLUSIVELY, that's the problem.
- some may have martyrdom syndrome - foolishness to offer urself for no good reason

"Are any of us dying for/of ministry"
Because if we all learn to give (serve in ministry), we will all have enough (to do).

In our Christian growth, Christianity is made real in community.
We can only experience Chrisitianity in relation with other ppl.
You can't live out your Christianity on our own.

When you work with each other, it will create great distress, because you will step on each other etc, and it will help you grow.
Phil 4:2

It's not about being nice but it's about how we grow.
We have the opportunity to knock heads, offended so that we can LEARN.
You can't be like minded if you don't work at it and then you hope to really grow.
There is no beauty of character, personality that comes without effort. God gives u the opportunity,

Is Humility so bad?
V9 - "THEREFORE"
There's no real tangible prize for humility, but God will honour us and put us in a place of honour.
Because Jesus humbled himself and the Father exalted Him
Outworking of your personal relationship with God gets worked out and exercised with each other.

Closing Prayer:
Thank you Lord for the supreme example of Christ.
But You did not hold on to it. You died on the cross for us & God You elevated Him.. And We believe the same thing will happen when we humble ourselves.

You Tube Hits!

2007-05-10T15:38:00.000+08:00

I was just looking thru my you tube postings today and realised how many ppl have looked at some of my postings..

1192 ppl have viewed then next youtube post.. .. wow!

Anyways... have been having fun blogging and posting stuff here.. see y'all soon.! Off to hunt more fodder for the brains!

Dew Race - The Saga Continues : Monica vs Oli

2007-05-10T10:16:00.000+08:00

The final installment at the races.. have fun!!

Crash at the Races!

2007-05-08T18:33:00.000+08:00

Watch & Laugh!

Dew Race #2 : Guys Take the Wheel

2007-05-08T16:23:00.000+08:00

More Spills & thrills..

Hahahaha!

Dew Race #1

2007-05-08T10:20:00.000+08:00

Let the movie speak for itself.. :P ROFL

Dew Crew Retreat 30/4 to 2/5

2007-05-08T10:16:00.000+08:00

Over the Labour Day holidays... the Dew Crew had it's annual trip/retreat... we had loads of fun and a reflective time..

I'll blog more with pictures about what happened here and there.. but more importantly.. we had Pastor Mike to share with us from His heart specifically what we as a Service oriented ministry should consider as we continue to serve.. We had altogether 3 sessions.. these were the notes I gathered from the 1st Session.

Do read and drink deep..

Session 1 : Value Systems

Opening prayer:
God has enlisted us, adopted us
And God in your love u brought us in.
Let us consider what is revealed to us. Speak clearly to us.
Let us hear the voice of a loving father. Change our filters and see Him for whom He truly is.

Luke 15 - Prodigal Son
Investigate this parable
We might miss the point about this parable.
We might have worn out the "grass" on this passage. Read from the beginning the passage

There is a structure to chapter 15, pick it out.

My own observation:
Lost Sheep
- what if he lost the 99. what would happen if he came back and 1 more got lost? Never ending story
- how did he ask them to rejoice with him? Extravagantly? Did he have roasted lamb? :P
- did he count the self righteous, unrepentatnt unworthy to be saved

Lost Coin
- How much did she spend on "rejoicing"?
- Does rejoicing require spending?

Lost Son
- Father was equally prodigal/extravagant in his rejoicing

The Sharing:

This was in response to the muttering of the Pharisees
'This man' - making a distinction between themselves and sinners.
What were they saying about Jesus? They could have been implying that Jesus being one of the sinners. As only sinners associate with sinners.

Jesus' response. 3 parables in succession.
What JC was doing in reflection of the Father.
Pharisee's missed what was being shared.

Out of 100, 1 was lost -1% loss
Out of 10, 1 was lost - 10% loss
Out of 2, 1 was lost -50% loss
All rejoicing the rejoicing was done for over the 1 that was found

100 - 10 - 2
Sheep - Coin - Person (Sons)

Rhetorical questions...

Sheep - "Does he not leave the 99" - Implies a condition "Isn't it obvious?"
Coin - "Does she not" - the value is so great that you would expend a great amount of energy

However in the 3rd parable there is No rhetorical question..
Son - BUT JC does not say "Does he not" - JC sets up a twist in the story to setup the Pharisees.

You can recognise the value of sheeps and coins,
But don't you think that the Father can recognise the value of lives.

Paraphrasing it "See you can all rejoice when sheep and coin are found, but you can't rejoice when a person is found"

We forget the value of the individual, the thing/object over the person
We're prone to this due to fallen nature.
We devalue the human things over the material things.
People are still more important.
You rejoice over things, but not over people?

*End of the 1st Lesson * - It has to do with a wrong value system.

Consider the 3rd parable, the Father did not walk to search for the Son.

What are the Differences between these parables.

- Shepherd & woman owns sheep and coin
- Sheep can't find it's way back
- Coin unable to act on it's own to come back

Father has 2 sons, did not own the sons.
Son acted on it's own to come back, because he has ability to come back.
Father was looking out for his son, anticipation for his return, did not go out to search.
Father saw him and ran towards him. The son owned himself, he had to come home on his own.

The Father didn't stop when the son came back, he had MORE!

The elder brother became jealous, compared, refused to celebrate, bitter, evident when he said "This son"

Father's response
- my son, not servant
- you are with me
- all i have is yours, didn't have to be given, it's yours
- let's celebrate

what was the original motivation, the story to the pharisees
?

To reveal the perspective of the pharisees
and correct it to show them who God cared about.

The elder son, like the Pharisees.. needed a correction in their perspective of who they are.
It is
not that the Pharisees were bad guys, they just tried to OBEY the law.
They wanted to obey the law so much they created stricter laws in order not to exceed God's laws. They wanted God to be on their side. So they obey the laws they created so that they could have the good things.

As Christians, we have the possibility to become the elder brother.

Something wrong about the elder brother
- he didn't have the commendable attitude to the younger brother
- didn't have a correct perspective of the father
- while he was there, he never enjoyed any of it.
- so who was sadder?
- "I did all the right things.. now you owe me!
"

Elder bro - not enjoying his RIGHT-ness
Younger bro - enjoying his WRONG-ness

Scarcity Mentality - Even if you less or more.. still a threat to themselves.
Abdundancy Mentality - it's ok no matter what.

Those in service mentality can have this elder bro mentality
"Do more so my father will be pleased with me"

Your standing & position before God has nothing to do with what you do. It's because of who you are.
Do more does not equate to being Loved more

When the pressure is on.. know where your value lies.
YOur value lies in WHO YOU ARE!!!

What would happen if we lost our value by the value of our contribution.
If I were not able to do anything for you Lord, what would you think of me, what would i think of me?
What is my VALUE?

Closing Prayer:

Strive to please Him more than ever, with who I am and not for what I am.
He still loves me more no matter what.
Do not consider our son-ship something to be earned.

Do more out of love.
Don't do more out of commitment to please.
Your value lies in you.
Parable is not for the lost, but also for those who stay.

**END of Session 1*

Am Suddenly Abuzz

2007-04-30T02:27:00.000+08:00

Yeah.. of late I've been getting "bass" engagements, from church, to seminar, to meetings, to office-trip, to even Vertigo's first Gig..

Well, yeah.. you heard it.. we're gearing up to get our first ever official gig.. Where and When? I'll keep you posted. We haven't even started practising yet.. it's an interesting notion and thing to do .. yet a scary adventure..

We'll see how this cooks out.. till then.. PEACE!!