The Trials, Victories & Adventures of Los PaulOS

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. ~ 1 John 4:18

Friday, June 29, 2007

What Do Men or Women Want/Need?

*I post this blog entry with fear and trembling..
- because it's a post that is erratic and off the cuff
- has too many holes for misunderstanding because I don't have time to write out everything
- my lack of understanding of the woman psyche
- so please respond in kind giving thought to my lack of knowledge and understanding if there be any*

In response to CC's blog I thought about the fundamental things in a relationship..

What does a man want out of a relationship?
What does a woman want out of a relationship?

It's easy to say.. because we love each other.. but what happens beyond the thrill of love? What carries the "Love" through the seasons.
"What's Love got to do with it? What's love but a second hand emotion?" ~ Tina Turner

Does a man crave relationships because he's lonely? Does a woman crave relationship because she doesn't feel complete?

Yes indeed woman was made from and for man (Biblically speaking), and man has to recognise his position that he will never be complete without a woman.

But doesn't this statement seem to contradict my statement?
Lonely Man vs "Never Be complete without a Woman"
Incomplete Woman vs "Created for man"

Yes all this sounds MCP like, yet how have be been designed. So different psychologically and each uniquely, that we are still drawn to each other.

I think there has been a reversal of roles, and forgotten roles, mainly due to the part of confusion of the Evil one.

A Man
- 1st created
- given authority to lead (name animals and tend to the garden)
- protector and responsible

A Woman
- created from man for him
(It is not good for him to be alone, but that doesn't mean he's lonely, after all a man can play all he wants with his dog, cat, elephant, gazelle, sports car PS2 etc)
- to be a helpmate
- to be protected by the man (not because she's weaker, but because it is his responsibility)

Many jokes have been said
"God told Eve, you got the brains.. but you can't ever tell Adam that I created you first"
"God is a woman"
"God made a mistake with the first model i.e. Man and therefore he made women 2nd to correct his first mistake"

God does not make mistakes. He fully intentionally did what He did.
Yes it is indeed Adam's fault that he did not stop Eve from eating the forbidden fruit. And both knew the commandments of God.
Do we keep flaunting His rules?

Men & Women need to realise, their roles and responsibilities.
Boys and Girls need to be raised in this environment where Men take up their responsibility and Women do not undermine this responsibility, but assist the man in fulfilling his role.

It when Men have neglected this role, for one reason or another (so many reasons to share), is when a woman rises up to replace this missing man. And over the years it has become a norm and acceptable that a woman would say "I don't need a man" or "I can get by by myself" indeed she has always been capable of it. (Prov 31), yet it was God's design that she help a man accomplish his full potential and in this a woman can also realise her full purpose in her life.

So I believe each man and woman is interdependent on one another, and once that man & woman has found their destiny in God and agree on the details of their destiny in God are for each other, they transition into a place where they work together at that destiny.
Yet on the journey to their destiny, each needs enough space and manure from each other to grow. Otherwise their growth would be stunted. Each has to be far apart yet near enough to allow each other to grow, so that their roots don't choke each other, nor their branches break each other.

*My ramblings.. .*

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  • At June 29, 2007 5:32 PM, Anonymous coolcat said…

    Wait, you're not talking about everyone feeling incomplete unless they are married, aren't ya? Bcos if you are, then I have to disagree. I do think that girls n guys need each other. We balance each other's viewpoints and meet the needs that the same gender can't. I wouldn't know what I'd do without the awesome guy friends and brothers in my life. But I feel complete right now even when I'm a single.

  • At June 29, 2007 5:41 PM, Blogger PaulOS said…

    No I'm not talking about being complete ONLY WHEN you are married. Men & Women balance each other's life out, in and outside of marriage. One does not have to be married to be complete. The marriage institution is the closest representation to God's love for mankind. Yet, God does not force us, for He gave us free choice. The completeness is not found in a marriage, for our decisions to marry are flawed if you look for that completeness in it. It is completeness in Christ (or self if u don't believe in Christ) that makes the marriage work. Whether single or married, God works the same, if you yeild to His Love, Will and Sovereignity.


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