The Trials, Victories & Adventures of Los PaulOS

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. ~ 1 John 4:18

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Where, O Death Is Your Sting?

You have read, in my blogs.. about deaths & murders.. to date.. it's like this lah

1st February - Funeral of a friend's friend - Died of Old Age
Mid February - PMC Counsellor's Dad - Died of Cancer
Early this year Pastor Ben's Mom - Died of Cancer
19th April - Gwendolene - Died of Cancer
18th May - Peng - Murdered- Asphyxia
25th May - Shahzila's boyfriend - Murdered in a factory

And today, I found out a friend has a potentially life threatening disease, 4th Stage Lung Cancer.

I am not pronouncing death on my friend, but I pray that God will, in His infinite GRACE and MERCY and omniscience and omnipotence, heal her. But not my will but YOUR will be done Lord.

I am wondering what God's saying to me in all this right now. There are many obvious things that can be derived from this.. but is there something specific, and not obvious. I wanna tap into the spiritual realm and hear and see..

Pray with me..

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Thursday, May 24, 2007

What's to be watchful?

As I drove back last night, Emily said "Church has to do something about this"

I enquired "Church as in DUMC or the general church of Christ?"

She replied "Both, but more so DUMC."

PS: What do you mean?
Em: Since DUMC is really transitioning and endeavours to move forward and grow, as a church, incidents like this can undermine and strike fear in church members.
PS: Yes, I agree. We have to be circumspect about our response. And know that we need not fear, but grow stronger.

This conversation actually triggered me to think about the previous blog entries. I had wondered why I wrote why I wrote. Emily triggered my thinking. Thank you dear.

As a Church we should pave the wave for a better society. If the society fails.. the church is to be blamed. The church is meant to be a catalyst of change. The people are already there. We need to work together with other churches to bring a change to this nation that's "Going to the dogs" as it were.

People need to know violence is not the way, you have to work, work hard to get what you need. Let us be a people who are like watchmen, soldiers, archers, generals and logistics as we pray and work out in growing the Church of Jesus Christ in Malaysia.

Yesus Kekuatanku, untukmu dan untuk Malaysia!

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How then Shall we Live? In Fear or Freedom?

From the time I first heard about Peng's death, until today, after the Wake. Funeral is on today at 11am, I've had the opportunity to speak different persons.

As a guy, we don't feel much fear about what's been happening. We're generally pissed off and angry at the perpetrator. How dare he do such a thing? Even Peng's brother, as he closed spoke out at the injustice and asked for justice.

As I reflected on this..

All of us seek justice.. All of us want justice.. OUR Way! It's shown very very clearly, that our justice is actually revenge. A life for a life a.. our justice.. or any justice ... is never perfect or reasonable.. pure or righteous..

We pray that justice in God's eyes be done. That as ridiculous as it seems, that this perpetrator will come to Christ and receive the forgiveness & salvation that he/they need so much ..
How can we think of such a thing, when such a precious life is lost? It is only in seeing from Christ's perspective.
Our initial response to anything nothing less than human. Christ is human to, but divine in nature. He has emotions just like us, He understands our pain, and His understanding and response is divine. When His friend Lazarus died, He wept. And He then raised Lazarus back up from death.

You may then ask, why not save Peng? Why let her die? We all die one day, sooner or later. Question is.. have we lived it to the full. From the Eulogies at the wake, we can see she had lived her life to the fullest. Fullest, not to the eyes of the world, but to hearts of the lives she touched. Approximately 200 ppl turned up I believe. Mostly from DUMC. We pray that we brought peace and hope into the situation.

~"God is sovereign", Pastor Alan said.
~"Do we know where we are & where we are going?", Pastor Seng Fei said.
~"She always had a remedy and advice for ailments and problems. ",
~"It was evident she trusted in the Lord for everything",
~"She had problems, and she never showed it, no one would have known", some others shared..

Life is indeed fragile.. some I've talked to kept saying

"The country has gone to the dogs."
"The days are indeed evil."
"I had dreams about her."
"I had trouble sleeping last night. Had to call upon scriptures to help me sleep"

All of these responses are about our human feelings,
But what is the supernatural response?

How then shall we live? ...
"Eph 5:15-16 ~"Be careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise. Making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil"

This is my response to this scripture.
We can indeed say days are evil. They have been evil since the beginning of SIN.
Even with 4 people on earth at that time.. Abel was not safe from his own brother Cane. Murder & jealousy has marred our humanity since the beginning of time.
Should we then live in fear? Should we be scared when someone approaches us?
As Christians, we just need to be careful, but not fear. Careful is, being cautious of our surroundings. Operating in the power of the Holy Spirit, trusting in Him.. Living with no regrets.

This is Pastor Seng Fei's mini-sermon at the wake as summarised by Josh in our PengYaus Blog

"Pr Seng Fei's waking call is that Peng's death reminds us that life is short, and we need to know who our source of life is and that we will be remembered by our deeds - thus we need to be wise about how we live our life. "

I insert my brother LX's sharings here:

"Though there are many incidents such as this, which unfortunately have claimed even close friends and acquaintances of ours, I would encourage us all not to retreat in fear and have our lives controlled by potential evil-doers.

Many people whom I know, have been deeply affected by untoward incidents and have since chosen to live a "safer" life, and decline going out at night, etc...My take on things is to be vigilant, yes, VERY vigilant and not to do silly things such as walk alone in dark alleys, but not to have fear control our lives.

Imagine if Peng had been fearful every night of her life and not helped out at Punctuations, what a loss it would have been for the Kingdom.

For God has not given us a spirit of cowardice, but of power, and of love, and of wise discretion.(2 Tim 1:7 - Darby Bible Translation)

I believe she led her life to the full, and God undoubtedly was in control, even in the bad times. We may never understand it as a human, but one day, we can quiz God about all things."

Be vigilant & intentional about what we do, but do not ever live in fear. His Spirit in us releases from fear.

My God is so BIG, So Mighty and so powerful.. There's nothing my God cannot do. Live it! Live it to the Fullest!

Don't stop what we do in the Lord and in fellowship, but be vigilant. You can employ some safety measures that helps, like CC's SMS Buddy .

It's true all man-made measures have always got failure rates

Pepper Spray
Martial Arts
Living in Gated Communities

Nothing is fool-proof.. Man in his twisted ingenuity can figure out ways to fool a system.

Can you really trust your bodyguards?
Pepper Sprays have expiry dates
Martial Arts? Have you heard of muscle cramps & trembling in fear?
Living in Gated Communities? Can you trust your neighbours or even the guards. A lot of guards practice the Palm Wave Access Control Recognition Technology. I should know I have seen it being "effectively" practised. 0% Technology required

But ONLY salvation in Jesus is fool-proof!
He seemed to be a king of fools to die for sinners such as us, but it was done out of love for us..

The song "Lovefool" suddenly comes to mind.. . groovy bassline.. *but .. I Digress*

I think that's all for now.. this blog entry is getting too long.. I hope you get my drift.
He came to give us life.. life to the fullest... to live in freedom and in power not fear, bondage and weakness.. Blessings!!

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007


Amidst all the fun posts, there's always a Sudden break in it these days.. Life is tough..
This sudden occurence is about my friend's passing away.. or shall I be forthright with it, murdered.

Yes my friend from DUMC was murdered according to some early sources (update it seems she wasn't, but due to being tied up etc, she suffocated/asphyxia). I didn't know her to a depth that I would say we were close friends, but we were always cordial to each other in church. Lovena, Lowena or Peng as most of us called her, was not taken back to Heaven, nor called back to the Lord, instead she was forced to her departure from planet earth.

*italics updated due to latest news*

Her life was taken from her un-intentionally by someone, whom the police have yet to ascertain or as to what manner. She was found tied up and already decomposing. The last anyone saw of her was on Friday night, her body was found only on Monday Night or so. We pray and hope that this outrageous act will be laid clear and bare and that the perpetrator will be brought to justice. Apparently it was theft/burglary and she suffocated due to prolonged bondage or something to that matter of fact.

I am still in a state of shock. How do you pray? How do you comfort? We can only rely on God's strength. May God give all of us peace. We hope that in the last moments of her life, she did not curse nor fault God for this, but continued to have the eternal hope and trust in Him, that she now rests with the Father.

Peng has been a faithful servant in church, always bubbly and cheerful. She served specifically in the Make Up Artist area for most if not all our Punctuation Production. Taking time and pains to travel from work in KL to PJ to do our make up and then back to Ampang late at night to her apartment. Many times sacrificing hours and money (for taxi & make up equipment) for our production.

I will miss her, for the many times as she put make up on my face, she'd suddenly speak in Cantonese to me, forgetting that I didn't understand much Cantonese. She'd then slap her forehead, forgetting that I wasn't able to understand her, and then laugh out loud at her mistake.

May the Lord bless us all with peace and comfort. Rest in Peace my dear sister Peng.. We'll miss your bubbliness and simply say it as it is attitude.

You can read more details at my friend's Joshua's website and also CC's website

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Saturday, May 19, 2007

Fast & Furious : The Gangsta

This is a picture of me at the Go-Kart Track at Eagle Ranch PD.

Picture Credits.. Debbie Ng... thank you!
Her b'day present for me :D

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Thursday, May 10, 2007

Dew Crew Retreat 30/4 till 2/5 : Session 2 : Like Mindedness & Humility

The 2nd Installation .. as shared by Pastor Mike..

*Church joke.. Please PASS THE MIKE TO PASTOR MIKE* ~pass the sounds like Pastor

heh heh!

Session 2 - Like Mindedness & Humility

Phillipians 2:1-11
Starts with 4 "If's" then "Make my joy complete."

**Phil 4:2
Who were the Phillipians? - PERHAPS the issue was about very good christians
, mature,
asking them to work with each other**

3 Ifs of the 4 were about
- Encouragement from Christ
- Comfort from His Love
- Fellowship with His Spirit

Can all be true even if you live your life out in isolation.
We can all be Christians on our own, walk with him, etc etc

"THEN make my joy complete by being like-minded.." ??!?!?! :P
It is suggesting that there's some incompleteness.
He's saying our Christianity cannot be complete in isolation.
You can't be like minded unless there's more than 1 person.
There's something about being with other believers.
Fellowship is not just about eating.
Church celebration is structured for worship together.. but not fellowship.
We could all have our personal relationship with Christ and not have relationship with anyone else.
BUT There is something that lacks.

Being Like Minded - same love, spirit and purpose.

Our relationship with Christ is completed thru our fellowship with one another.
Question to ask ourselves why is there marriage on earth but none in Heaven?
Our experience on earth is made more complete or obvious to us in Marriage.
Marriage - extreme form of relationship/fellowship
Fellowship is a partnership.

Growing in God - can be explained by quiet time, praying & serving.
But it is thru fellowship, when the clashing of minds, living & working together, that's where our experience with God is filled out & deepened.
It is an integral part of our growth.

On your own seems fine but together there will be squabbles.

So, why does Paul talk about humility here?
- perhaps humility is like a lubricant to our relationships, as arrogance is a irritation/catalyst to our relationships
- "look not only to your own interest but to the interest of others.

- "If we don't have this we don't really love one another."

v3 "Consider others better than urselves"
- that does not have to be a problem
- sometimes ppl demean themselves via humility but that is not humility. To do that is to deny who you are.
- humilty is recognising who you are & what you have & where it comes from.

v4 "look to the interest of others"
- consider them to be worthy of ur consideration
- 99% of the time for our own interest.
- the part is not helpful is when we look to our own interest EXCLUSIVELY, that's the problem.
- some may have martyrdom syndrome - foolishness to offer urself for no good reason

"Are any of us dying for/of ministry"
Because if we all learn to give (serve in ministry), we will all have enough (to do).

In our Christian growth, Christianity is made real in community.
We can only experience Chrisitianity in relation with other ppl.
You can't live out your Christianity on our own.

When you work with each other, it will create great distress, because you will step on each other etc, and it will help you grow.
Phil 4:2

It's not about being nice but it's about how we grow.
We have the opportunity to knock heads, offended so that we can LEARN.
You can't be like minded if you don't work at it and then you hope to really grow.
There is no beauty of character, personality that comes without effort. God gives u the opportunity,

Is Humility so bad?
There's no real tangible prize for humility, but God will honour us and put us in a place of honour.
Because Jesus humbled himself and the Father exalted Him
Outworking of your personal relationship with God gets worked out and exercised with each other.

Closing Prayer:
Thank you Lord for the supreme example of Christ.
But You did not hold on to it. You died on the cross for us & God You elevated Him.. And We believe the same thing will happen when we humble ourselves.

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You Tube Hits!

I was just looking thru my you tube postings today and realised how many ppl have looked at some of my postings..

1192 ppl have viewed then next youtube post.. .. wow!

Anyways... have been having fun blogging and posting stuff here.. see y'all soon.! Off to hunt more fodder for the brains!

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Dew Race - The Saga Continues : Monica vs Oli

The final installment at the races.. have fun!!

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Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Crash at the Races!

Watch & Laugh!

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Dew Race #2 : Guys Take the Wheel

More Spills & thrills..


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Dew Race #1

Let the movie speak for itself.. :P ROFL

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Dew Crew Retreat 30/4 to 2/5

Over the Labour Day holidays... the Dew Crew had it's annual trip/retreat... we had loads of fun and a reflective time..

I'll blog more with pictures about what happened here and there.. but more importantly.. we had Pastor Mike to share with us from His heart specifically what we as a Service oriented ministry should consider as we continue to serve.. We had altogether 3 sessions.. these were the notes I gathered from the 1st Session.

Do read and drink deep..

Session 1 : Value Systems

Opening prayer:
God has enlisted us, adopted us
And God in your love u brought us in.
Let us consider what is revealed to us. Speak clearly to us.
Let us hear the voice of a loving father. Change our filters and see Him for whom He truly is.

Luke 15 - Prodigal Son
Investigate this parable
We might miss the point about this parable.
We might have worn out the "grass" on this passage. Read from the beginning the passage

There is a structure to chapter 15, pick it out.

My own observation:
Lost Sheep
- what if he lost the 99. what would happen if he came back and 1 more got lost? Never ending story
- how did he ask them to rejoice with him? Extravagantly? Did he have roasted lamb? :P
- did he count the self righteous, unrepentatnt unworthy to be saved

Lost Coin
- How much did she spend on "rejoicing"?
- Does rejoicing require spending?

Lost Son
- Father was equally prodigal/extravagant in his rejoicing

The Sharing:

This was in response to the muttering of the Pharisees
'This man' - making a distinction between themselves and sinners.
What were they saying about Jesus? They could have been implying that Jesus being one of the sinners. As only sinners associate with sinners.

Jesus' response. 3 parables in succession.
What JC was doing in reflection of the Father.
Pharisee's missed what was being shared.

Out of 100, 1 was lost -1% loss
Out of 10, 1 was lost - 10% loss
Out of 2, 1 was lost -50% loss
All rejoicing the rejoicing was done for over the 1 that was found

100 - 10 - 2
Sheep - Coin - Person (Sons)

Rhetorical questions...

Sheep - "Does he not leave the 99" - Implies a condition "Isn't it obvious?"
Coin - "Does she not" - the value is so great that you would expend a great amount of energy

However in the 3rd parable there is No rhetorical question..
Son - BUT JC does not say "Does he not" - JC sets up a twist in the story to setup the Pharisees.

You can recognise the value of sheeps and coins,
But don't you think that the Father can recognise the value of lives.

Paraphrasing it "See you can all rejoice when sheep and coin are found, but you can't rejoice when a person is found"

We forget the value of the individual, the thing/object over the person
We're prone to this due to fallen nature.
We devalue the human things over the material things.
People are still more important.
You rejoice over things, but not over people?

*End of the 1st Lesson * - It has to do with a wrong value system.

Consider the 3rd parable, the Father did not walk to search for the Son.

What are the Differences between these parables.

- Shepherd & woman owns sheep and coin
- Sheep can't find it's way back
- Coin unable to act on it's own to come back

Father has 2 sons, did not own the sons.
Son acted on it's own to come back, because he has ability to come back.
Father was looking out for his son, anticipation for his return, did not go out to search.
Father saw him and ran towards him. The son owned himself, he had to come home on his own.

The Father didn't stop when the son came back, he had MORE!

The elder brother became jealous, compared, refused to celebrate, bitter, evident when he said "This son"

Father's response
- my son, not servant
- you are with me
- all i have is yours, didn't have to be given, it's yours
- let's celebrate

what was the original motivation, the story to the pharisees

To reveal the perspective of the pharisees
and correct it to show them who God cared about.

The elder son, like the Pharisees.. needed a correction in their perspective of who they are.
It is
not that the Pharisees were bad guys, they just tried to OBEY the law.
They wanted to obey the law so much they created stricter laws in order not to exceed God's laws. They wanted God to be on their side. So they obey the laws they created so that they could have the good things.

As Christians, we have the possibility to become the elder brother.

Something wrong about the elder brother
- he didn't have the commendable attitude to the younger brother
- didn't have a correct perspective of the father
- while he was there, he never enjoyed any of it.
- so who was sadder?
- "I did all the right things.. now you owe me!

Elder bro - not enjoying his RIGHT-ness
Younger bro - enjoying his WRONG-ness

Scarcity Mentality - Even if you less or more.. still a threat to themselves.
Abdundancy Mentality - it's ok no matter what.

Those in service mentality can have this elder bro mentality
"Do more so my father will be pleased with me"

Your standing & position before God has nothing to do with what you do. It's because of who you are.
Do more does not equate to being Loved more

When the pressure is on.. know where your value lies.
YOur value lies in WHO YOU ARE!!!

What would happen if we lost our value by the value of our contribution.
If I were not able to do anything for you Lord, what would you think of me, what would i think of me?
What is my VALUE?

Closing Prayer:

Strive to please Him more than ever, with who I am and not for what I am.
He still loves me more no matter what.
Do not consider our son-ship something to be earned.

Do more out of love.
Don't do more out of commitment to please.
Your value lies in you.
Parable is not for the lost, but also for those who stay.

**END of Session 1*

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