The Trials, Victories & Adventures of Los PaulOS

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. ~ 1 John 4:18

Thursday, January 27, 2005


It's not what you think.. heh heh.. Though I pray for more revival in the lives of those who are lukewarm in the faith..

However this Revival I am talking about is.. The Great Wedding Band Revival. It's been almost a year since we played together as a band at a wedding. When I say "we" I mean, my secular band. It consists of

1. Christopher Roland Ewely Khoo - Lead vocals, rhythm and lead guitar
2. Paul Sebastian - Bass and occasional backing vocals (resisting urging by many to sing)
3. Terence Chong - Lead Guitar dubbed "Super Slow Hand"
4. Sekhar Subramaniam - Keyboardist and goreng extraordinaire a.k.a Expert Bluffer
5. ?? - Drummer (always rotating in the past few years)

One of the reasons why we can't play or practise often is because we don't have a regular drummer. Anyways, our Keyboardist Sekhar is getting married this June. And he's asked us to play music.. the whole "shabang" as the term he used. So now, we're stucked! What songs do we play. We don't want to play the S.O.S (Same Old Stuff) again!

So now I implore your kind and resourceful minds to suggests songs for the band to play. Please put it in the comments. We'll then select the best of the list and then I promise if we get a VCD out, I'll give it to those that I meet, heh heh.. .

Thanks once again for your help. Shall (Edit) this entry when I have some more time.

Thank you all!!

Monday, January 24, 2005

Roti Jala @ The Terminal

Once in a while I'd organise a movie meet up with a few friends from church. This movie meet up would encompass a movie and a home cooked dinner. It's actually an excuse for me to cook for my friends and hopefully to expand the the borders and improve my culinary skills.

I however do not consider this as a career "backup" plan if all else fails...

I attempted to make Roti Jala last night. Roti Jala translates directly to Net Bread. It is much more like a pancake that is think and has the form of a net. It was purely experimental and I had the lab rats.. err I mean my friends to come and taste it.

I bought a "hot plate" or as we call it in tamil "Thosai Kalle" and the mould to make the Roti Jala from PJ Old Town for RM25 (discounted from RM38) and RM 1.50 respectively. The mould is actually a cup with 4-5 spouts/holes at the bottom of it. Using the Roti Jala to scoop the mould, then letting the mould drip/ooze through the holes onto the hotplate. Then you get your Roti Jala.

It turned out ok, just a bit powdery, maybe too much flour. Must say it was succesful for a first timer like me, never did get the recipe down properly from mom, but I think she'd be proud of me. I did tell mom and dad last nite about it, and they were quite pleased. :).. My brother didn't really like picking up cooking skills. I wonder when I'll start baking.

But maybe, the baking part I'll leave to my future wife........
*Erhem* Yes.. I'm still single.. ;)
But this is not an advertisement-lah ... Just wish "you know who" is reading this... :)

Lina, Agnes and I had a good time catching up on some "gossip" and had a good time laughing at each other telling our silly stories. Then we proceeded to watch The Terminal. T'was a good "feel-good" movie, just maybe we didn't really get the ending that we all like to see, but hey what love can actually bloom in an Airport Terminal. I think I'll want to watch it again to read into the characters in more depth. Can't quite describe the characters as of now. I think I was a wee bit tired last nite to really think about the characters and the significance of ongoing Napoleon discourse between the 2 main characters.

That's all fer now people.. PaulOS Blogging Off

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Phantom Whipped!

OK ok... for those who have read Coolcat's jottings on Phantom, you can tell that I slept during movie Phantom of the Opera.. starring ... err unknown actors.. the only one I knew was Minnie Driver ..

**Chuckling and wondering .. What were her parents thinking.. "Mini Driver"!!! Did she ever drive a Mini .. and ppl seeing her in the car driving past would've exclaimed "Minnie Driver!!!" and the response would've been "Yeah! So what? there're so many of them around"**

Sorry corny joke....

Ok back to how I got whipped by the Phantom of The Opera....

Monday nite.. I was a wee bit tired. But wanted to watch Phantom for the experience of it, so I got Rina and Joanne to join me. I know they've been wanting to watch it.

Movie started quite late (855pm) even though it was scheduled to start at 830. We were seated 2 row from the front.

Anyways, I think I was miffed because of the following points that didn't make the "movical" (Movie + Musical) enjoyable

Miffing-point :
1. Almost all the tickets were booked, so we were left with those few seats.. but in actual fact a lot of the seats were empty. We didn't want to move to another seat for fear that someone might come later and would result in embarassing situation to move etc.
2. The air conditioning was busted.. it was getting warm
3. Sound system was lousy! I didn't even feel the music. There was hardly any low-end "rumble" for a musical of this quality. The vocals were dry...

I also believe at a musical, you are sitting with a crowd of people who know how to appreciate a musical for it's creative quality and technical complexities. What I look forward to in musicals are

1. How they are able to hide the microphones or even not have microphones
2. How the actors/singers are able to project their voices across the hall
3. How full the Orchestra and vocals sound
4. It's magical to see the stage transform between scenes.
5. The lighting that helps change the mood and feel of each scene
6. The stage mobility
a. the rotating stage in Les Miz
b. the town cum barricade for the city in Les Miz
c. the the moving gondola on stage for Phantom
d. the helicopter in Miss Saigon (yet to see)

I must admit some of the romanticism is lost on me in Phantom. And some things I find a bit ridculous to reconcile in Phantom, like

1. He's gifted with musical talent, true... but who taught him how to write scores blah blah blah
2. Where'd he get all the money and resources to install a pipe organ under the city?
3. Where's he go to buy the candles?
4. The Phantom's actually quite handsome (except for that 1/3 of the face).. but hey, he's got better hair and face than me ;)
5. Always threatens people... tsk tsk tsk "pay me 20,000 francs.. leave MY box empty
6. Raoul's hair so pristine... Rebonding Technique ah?

I can't remember the whole play from back in 1998, that's why I think I'll go get the DVD and watch it again (when I'm fully awake), to reconcile all the parts I missed before I can give a full evaluation on the story.. :)

But I must say, I've been inspired by the lyrics and music style once again. Wonder if Punctuation will venture again into a musical.. a full musical..

I just got news yesterday.. Punctuation is not having many productions this year. Only 1 in August and 1 on Christmas Day. (And my Dew Crew team is on for August)... What a privilege!

However I was contemplating on acting this year if there was a musical... plans thwarted.. :p
Well, nevermind.. Have a blessed week everyone!

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Retro-Gia : First Love

"Retro-Gia" ~ Coined it myself.. From "Retrospective" and "Nostalgia"

Retrospective is defined as "Looking back on, contemplating, or directed to the past"

Nostalgia is defined as "A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past."
I was deliberating between Retro-Gia and Restrolgia. ;)

Anyway the inspiration to write this blog entry.. was thanks to Coolcat who goes under another pseudoname i.e. Dr Love. So here goes....

I remember my first love....
*Wondering if she'll ever read this and how it might tickle her*

Mel & I met under very "Divine" circumstances. He're the story...

It was nearing the monsoon season of 1989, October to be precise. I had just finished my SRP (Sijil Rendah Pelajaran) or equivalent to LCE (Lower Cambridge Examination) and it was a wonderful time to be alive. Our seniors were busy studying for their respective exams whilst we lower secondary monkeys, played football, chatted with the gals, played chess and various other sports of the day. We were on the advent of our lives as senior secondary school students. Surely it was an exciting time.

I being a Catholic then, was due to undertake one of compulsory Sacraments of my Catholic life; Confirmation. Throughout 1989, my church mates of the same age went through Confirmation classes where we learnt about the Holy Spirit, but I honestly don't remember a thing from those classes. I remember fooling around a lot in Cathecism.

The time came, when we were to go for a 1 day retreat for all Confirmants (confirmation candidates). Since my parish was a small parish (only 5 of us ; Anita, Julian, Francis, Evelyn and me), we were told to join the Alor Star parish which the next big town 40km away in the next state.

So off we went to Alor Star, my first time meeting other youths from another church. We met the Alor Star youths, I don't remember a lot of them from that day. There were many pretty young things there but 1 gal stood out, or more like stood in. She sat quietly by herself, unlike the other charismatic, outspoken, boisterous youths whom I encountered. I dared not speak to her, being the shy guy that I was. But she sat there in the crowded room, I noticed her small figure, her small eyes, her short curly/wavy hair, and those ever so big glasses that made her eyes look even smaller.

I didn't say much to her, only towards the end. We introduced ourselves and just said "See you at confirmation" (in Alor Star a month later). So we went back to our respective towns and I didn't think much of her..

All of us met at St Michael's Church Alor Star, on Nov 12, 1989. We attended our Confirmation and I was elated to find out that Mel had signed up to attend the same Charismatic Youth Rally in Klian Pau, Taiping. It was indeed my first exposure to the power and moving of the Holy Spirit at this Rally entitled "Jesus, Our Lord & Liberator" It was the start of my spiritual awakening among other "awakenings"... ;)

We did spend a wonderful time together with all friends during camp. We talked into the wee hours of the mornings over countless cups of Milo . At the end of camp we said our "goodbyes " and before we left she came and gave me a hug. It was indeed the first time I was ever hugged by someone from the opposite gender aside from family. You can imagine what a little country bumpkin like me felt like. It was a first.

Anyways, from then on I used to call her almost every Friday evening after Mass. I purposely told my mom and dad that I'd cycle to church and back and not follow them in the car so that I could make a "stopover" at the local telephone booth just to call her. Each conversation used to last about 10-30 minutes. For someone like me it was tough, as I had a limited allowance for meals in school. This went on for 2 years.

In those 2 years during visits to my uncles place in Alor Star, I'd tell everyone, "I am going jogging!". But I had an ulterior motive, I ran to her house which was about a mile away. Sat there and talked to her. She'd sit on her piano chair whilst I'd sit on the rattan chair and we'd talk away. I don't remember what we used to talk to, but mostly about school, her friends, my friends, our growth in faith. We were great encouragers to each other.
Each time it was time to go back to my uncle's place, I'd sprint all the way home so that I'd "appear" to have run for a long time. I didn't want to risk being found out, as I feared my dad's "No Girlfriends when you're still studying" policy/mandate.

It was in 1991 when we had just finished our SPM (Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia) or A Levels or GCE (General Cambridge Examination), that I realised that I actually loved her. I didn't know what it was like to be in love (sure there was "puppy love" before), but Mel, inspired me. She pricked my thoughts, we could always be so honest and transparent about our lives to one another. She made it easy to tell someone all the struggles I was going through as the youngest child in the family. She could also always tell me her struggles. etc etc. I never did ask her if she did look forward to my phone calls.

She hardly called because I told her not to call me at my house. I knew I'd be embarassed and I was also fearful that I'd be found out. She did call me once or twice but not often enough to arouse my parent's suspicions. I was good at this game of hide-and-seek. Needless to say I was already falling in love with her. While waiting for our SPM results, nearing Christmas time, I wrote her a letter telling her how I felt and how I'd hope we'd be more than just friends.

Her reply came on the afternoon of December 18th 1991. I opened the letter with much trepidition, not knowing what her answer would be. And till today I remember how my heart skipped so many beats as I read the contents in the hall of my house. It was hard to hide the emotions as my dad lay down in the hall of the house reading his newspaper. I treasure what she wrote and as I now read the letter, I thank God for the way she told me why she couldn't and be committed to a relationship. She said it so clearly and gently that this is a letter I will always cherish. From this incident she taught me that it is possible to still be the best of friends even though relationships don't start out or work out.

I remember that for the following year, I carried that letter around with me almost everywhere I went, to remind me the precious friendship we had. And when I was homesick, I'd read about how much she treasured our friendship. I still called her once a month when I was far from home as I had left Perlis to study in KL, while she stayed on in Alor Star.

I just took out the letter today, and read it, I couldn't help but just smile and remember how young we were, yet how wise she was to guard my heart from this "rejection" incident. She didn't call it a rejection, but she said she was just not ready.

It's not that I do not love her to this very day, I still do, but in a way I don't know how to describe. What Mel and I have till today is very special. A very special friendship. She even invited me to stay with her before her wedding. I could not make it as it was all the way in UK.

She's been married over a year now to Andrew and I groggily remember the day she called me to tell me she was getting engaged. She had called me at 4am in the morning. I was so groggy, but i managed to listen to her. It struck me later that I was losing my "backup". We had jokingly "pledged" to marry each other at age 40 if we were still single by then.

It's hard when you're not really there for your best friend and soulmate through their tough times and to only find that out at a later time that they've struggled in the months past alone. She and I don't contact each other very much, because we've grown lazy to write letters and even email. But I am sure we'll always be able to pick up where we left off when we meet again.

I live today, with "No Regrets", because I know God had placed her in that stage and episode of my life to colour its' pages with love, memories and many smiles. I never did cry over her, because all our memories were always happy ones.

She remains till today, not as "the one that got away" but as "the one who helped me see and understand love first hand". We journeyed together with God right from the start and will always have Jesus by our side. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Mel if you're reading this.. you know what I mean when I say this.. "I love you and I will always treasure you" .. I can't wait for the day when it'll be my turn to call you early in the morning to tell you that I'm engaged. :)

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

BackBlog 25 Dec 2004 - A Birth & A Wedding

Christmas Day.. the birth of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ last year 2004, was indeed a day to remember.

It was also my former cell leader's wedding day.

Here's a picture of Anne Yeow and me worship leading at the wedding.

More details later.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Best Things of 2004

Blessed New Year to all.. I pray all have been blessed and have been greatly blessed the past year. And we look forward to more and more of it this year. Amen!!

Here's probably just a fraction of the best things that have happened to me last year (in no particular order)

  1. Going for Mission Trip To Cambodia
  2. Being blessed tremendously by friends to go for the Mission Trip
  3. Meeting Cambodians and praying for them
  4. Getting healed day by day of old injuries (Been a bane to me for few years)
  5. Growth in cell, it feels like a new cell group that I have today.
  6. Gone for 2 Roadtrips ; Singapore and Up North
  7. Gone to Singapore for Ministry trip
  8. Playing golf more and being more consistent
  9. Better working relations in the office
  10. Able to reach out more to colleagues
  11. Having great & wonderful brothers and sisters in DUMC ; MAG, Cell, Dew Crew, MWM, Children Church and various ministries.
  12. Conscious effort of drawing closer to God and reading more & more books
  13. Growing deeper in love, respect and honour with my parents.
  14. Made another Best Friend *guess who?*
  15. Amorous pursuit back online ;) but am doing it differently. Submitted in prayer and guidance from God Almighty.. curious people can ask me but dunno if got reply for you or not.. ;)
  16. Growth in my bass guitar playing skill in some measure and confidence

In short life has been great.. and the 4 goals I've had last year have been achieved.. Pray with me for a great follow up on more goals for the coming year. Praise God for Goodness. And He NEVER changes.