The Trials, Victories & Adventures of Los PaulOS

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. ~ 1 John 4:18

Thursday, July 26, 2007

No.. I am Not Gloating.. Just Happy

I'm Just happy that I could beat Annie H at Scrabble. She whooped me a few times before and I consider her a very very very tough Scrabble exponent, Probably because I got good opportunities, and not by my intelligence.. This time I managed to win.. thank you Annie for a great game

Just to prove I am not such a good player.. I 've won only 3 of 8 games I've played.. .. Check it out below.
A little trivia about the best scrabble game ever played The winner won with 830 points and the loser at 490 points.
Imagine.. even with the points in this game I could not beat the loser!!! :P

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These Small Hours : Rejoice In Heaven Aunty G

Our time on earth is noted by "These small hours" we live in each & everyday.

Over the past 2 weeks, my life, my families life were put in a flurry of activities.
Moments (30 minutes) before the "Cilaka Punya Penyamun" incident on 7th June 2007, I sat in my car, receiving news about my Aunty G, that she was diagnosed with late stage gall bladder/liver cancer. My dad delivered the news to me, and I sat in my car, not knowing how to respond. All I could say was, "We continue to believe in God to do a mighty work, we leave it in His hands"

I was stunned at the suddenness of the news. Then I left my car with a flurry of things in my mind, hence forgetting I had left my notebook in the car.. and *BLAM* it got stolen.

Over the next 1 month and a half, we made every effort to visit my Aunt G. I never did get to say many things to her as everyone had something to say to advise her to get better and to take the medication prescribed.

She opted for chemo, and we knew the road ahead would be rough, even though modern chemo today is not as rough as before.

The only brief moment I had with her was about 3 weeks before she passed on, I sat upstairs with her and Emily. We spoke, she did not speak in her moderately strong voice. She spoke weakly, I strained to hear her above the din of children, other conversations and the tamil movie on the TV.

We spoke about our wedding, her experiences (including her dirty jokes and her stopping the plane at Heathrow airport) and my cousin's upcoming wedding. It was the only meaningful conversation that I had with her in the past couple of years as her life.

She did not owe me anything, not her time nor her presence, and rightly so, I was just one of her nephews. I didn't get to see her much in her last days. Yet, I have no regrets, because deep down inside she knows my heart and I knew hers.

She gave me many things to remember her by, how she cared from me from the time I was young and until i started working. She was like a mother to me.

Much can be written about her, but I guess, in short, she was a mother to many.. In her obituary.. her son coined the phrase.. "Ever Loving & Always Giving". She never lacked in her giving and caring for strangers, people in need. And it was indeed shown in the number of people who attended the funeral at St Francis Xavier Church, Petaling Jaya on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

The church was at 70% capacity, and it was amazing, as we sang hymns and went through the funeral rites. My Uncle Lawrence gave the eulogy and my cousins spoke in kind of their mother.

I may or may not write more about her.. but this blog entry has gone long enough..

As I listened to songs, a day or 2 after the funeral.. I found this song to be apt... The time we have is short, and it's useless to squabble over little things, let the bad things slide, forgive, and work at the things that really matter.. the things of the heart.. That's what she would have wanted us to do to as we the family continued to live on.

My dear Aunty G, rejoice in Heaven, I look forward to the day when I see you there one day..

Little Wonders Lyrics
Artist(Band):Rob Thomas

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don’t you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don’t mind
if it’s me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it’s the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
with these small hours, still remain,
they still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain


Monday, July 09, 2007

Getting To Know Me.. Getting To Know More About Me!

As we grow on in life.. we sometimes take ourselves too seriously and sometimes getting to know the ugly parts about ourselves.. accepting it, resenting it, and turning it around and growing from it..

I think I've found somethings about myself...

1. I am overtly critical about myself
2. I am scared about making mistakes
3. I blame myself very harshly for my wrong decisions and go into bouts of depression
4. I don't like being accussed of things that are false about me

These are a few of my unfavourite things..

What do I do with it?
Pray.. ;) That should be my first and only resource.. to depend on my Maker, who designed me.. and for whatever flaws I've added on into myself, I will ask Him to mend me..

For Paul (the Apostle) says..
There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ
Rom 8:14 : Because those led by the Spirit of God are sons of God...

Yes... indeed I claim that inheritance promised to me.. not because I deserve it, but because it is what He gives to me because I am His son.

Guard my mind in Christ Jesus and let nothing move me.

So from the advise of Pr Foo, I'll go dig out my old cassettes and listen to them once more.... Fill my mind and heart with His words and encouragement.

May the Lord bless you dear reader with peace. :D

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